Sometimes He Says Yes and Sometimes No

Today as I walked, listened to my mp3 player and prayed, I thought about many things in my life and my family’s life.  I noticed an Asian woman walking too.  We passed each other and smiled and said, “Hi.” I continued my walk for another mile or so.  As I was coming close to the end of my walk, a car drove past me, turned around and came back.  The car stopped right beside me and a woman rolled her window down and she said, “I was looking for you.  It was the Asian woman I saw walking earlier.  She handed me a little booklet and she said, “Jesus loves you!” Oh, my goodness! How that touched my heart and warmed my soul.  Holy Spirit, laid on her heart for her to search for me.  She had no idea how much it meant to me.  It was so sweet of her to take the time to come and tell me that.  I do know that Jesus loves me and that is a promise that I hold on to!

I was thinking about prayer and how prayer seems to be a very misunderstood subject.  It appears to me that some people think prayer is so sacred that you have to have a certain combination of do’s and don’ts to be an effective prayer warrior.  Well, I don’t think so! (1) I can pray anywhere, anytime.  (2) I can stand, walk, kneel, lie down, jump, stand on my head (can’t do that), in my car, on my job, or in my closet. (3) I can walk throughout my day in communication with Him.  It’s all about my heart.  I think it’s all about my attitude toward God. Father loves me and like any good father, He will only do what is best for me.  So, it would be in my best interest to get to know Him (very well).  Not just what He can do for me.

I know it sounds so cliché to say, “Lord, I need you” because you hear it said so often.  It’s not just a pretty song either, “I need thee every hour.”  The real truth is, I do need you every hour (and want you every hour.) and yes (4) I can ask Him for the desires of my heart and petition Him for needs of others too.

Like I said before, it’s a heart issue.  I cannot make it in this life without his wisdom, understanding, grace, and love for me (foremost).  I can’t really depend on anyone else. Not even my good family, close friends, not even myself.  I want to have lines of communication open at all times with Him.  He is the only one that will always be for me; yesterday, today, and forever.  If my prayer life, consist only of praying when I need or want something, then the truth is that I don’t really want Him in my life…just what He can do for me.

What got me thinking about prayer was, the other day I was praying about something…oh yeah, I was praying about my son’s endeavor for a new job.  My son told me that he was the youngest of the group to interview for the position and he was less qualified then some of the others.  I was praying that God give him favor and praying that God’s will be done.  The Lord’s Prayer says…thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Since God has a plan for our lives and he has had it from the foundation of the earth, (5) I pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Well, long story short, he got the job!  Praise God!

I started thinking about this.  His answer was yes. Sometimes, His answer is no.  How did I feel about that?  It started to change my attitude about prayer. (6) Prayer should be a conversation that I have with God and (7) I should praise Him whether the answer is “yes” or “no”.

We are family! We have brothers and sisters in Christ.  He is our Father.  We can be in relationship with Him.  We can have conversation with Him.  He will talk to us and we can talk to Him.  We can know Him as He knows us.  He knows our personality and what is best for us.

 I try to walk with him daily. Some days I sit in His lap and kiss His cheek. Some days I pout a little and I am distant.  Some days I ask Him for things and other days I just tell Him how much I love and appreciate Him in my life. I trust Him. He is my Father God, Daddy, Papa. He knows best. He has my back. I trust Him.  

Sometimes he says “yes” and sometimes He says “no.”  Because I have a relationship with Him, I trust Him. I really do trust Him.

Living Loved (by an awesome Father),

Sammie

Psalm 44:21 …wouldn’t God find out since He knows the secrets of the heart?  Matthew 6:8 He knoweth what things I have need of before I ask Him.  NIV

HAS OUR PRIDE BEEN WORTH IT?

 I live in the bible belt, USA.  Good Godly people live in this part of the country.  Busy people doing God's work. I was raised here and have lived here for my whole life. Fifty eight years to be exact. I was raised in church. So, please hear me. I'm not blaming anyone. I love the people in my community and this part of the country. This is just my journey, my questions, and observations.

 I have believed in God all my life and believe that Jesus saved me as an adolescent.  I just always felt like there was more. Something was missing in my own life. This started a quest for me, I said, "God if you're real (and I know you are) then show me,"  I wanted a life that bore the fruit of  Jesus.

The first thing that Holy Spirit started showing me was just how much God loved me. I knew the scripture, "For God so loved the world..." and that Jesus came to save my soul so that I could spend eternity with Him. But, I never fathomed the height and depth of His love for me.  How He actually created me to spend time with Him. That He desired to spend time with me and wanted me to fellowship with Him on a daily basis. ...never did it really register that He had a plan for my life and the most important part of that plan was for me to have a relationship with Him. There it was the treasure that He wanted to show me...He wanted an earthly relationship with me. Not just for eternity, but for here on this earth!

The scripture says in Matthew 7,  9 So I say to you: Keep asking, and it will be given you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you, 10 because everyone who keeps asking will receive, and the person who keeps searching will find, and the person who keeps knocking will have the door opened.

 As I searched He revealed this precious nugget that changed my life forever...religion alone produces a life of duty and obligation, dos and don'ts,  Hard work that just never brings fulfillment. You're tired, worn out, and never feel like you can measure up or deserve God's love. You read about it, but it doesn't seem real. A life lived in relationship with a Loving Father produces His Spirit, joy, love, peace, contentment. You are able to have relationship with Him and others around you that is productive and fulfilling. Religion is a cup half full. I want a full cup. His fullness...is a cup running over. No wonder Jesus didn't get along with the Scribes and Pharisees! They just couldn't understand what he was trying to show them. He walked in relationship every day of His life. Relationship with His Father and in relationship with those that he came in contact with.

 If I could redo anything in my life, I would like to have had a closer relationship with Jesus so that  I could have raised my children with more of a focus on relationship with Him and caring more for others. Our own hopes and dreams are important but should never be more important than the needs of hurting people around us. I raised my children in church but  I didn't raise them to be sensitive to how much God wanted a relationship with them and how important it was to care about the needs of others. I wanted my children to have nice clothes, be polite, excel in sports, good in school...the list goes on and there is nothing wrong with that.  I wanted them to go to church, have good manners, and treat others with respect.  My focus was all external. I cared way too much about how things looked.  God looks inwardly at our heart. It didn't really dawn on me that I was raising them to want more things when I should have been raising them to love Jesus with all their hearts. I love my children and grandchildren. They are great kids.  Only saying...if I could do it again.

A relationship with Father God. What does that mean? Does it mean for me to love Him above everything and everyone in my life and to care about the needs of those around me as much as I do my own needs? I think it does.  If I do that would I really worry about what kind of house I live in?  Or car I drive? Would I care what color you are? or how much  money you make?   My son and I were having a conversation the other day about how he heard that a pastor stepped on a few toes when he expressed a concern about this same topic in his sermon.  My son said that he said to the congregation something along the line of that we might not need that expensive boat or that so on and so on. His implications were that our money might need to be put on something more in tune with the Kingdom of God. God says that one tenth of what we earn should go to Him. That is what we owe to be good stewards of this earth. So I'm not talking about that. But, I'm talking more about the condition of our heart. Having a heart to give and not receive all the time. Giving my own money, time, and talents to serve others.

I am so concerned about America. I care deeply for this country. It is where My father God saw fit for me to live and raise my family. I appreciate all the great men and women that came before me to make this a great nation.  I am grateful for the ones that fought to protect me, my family, and this land that we call home.  Have we forgotten who gave it to us? Have we left Him out of our families and schools? Is He any longer a part of our lives?  This is the land of prosperity.  Have we taken this prosperity for granted?  I don't believe that he gave us prosperity to see how "fat and happy" we can become. We have become overindulgent in every area of our lives.  I think we have become wasteful, greedy, uncaring, unloving, and many times have cared only about our four and no more! We have forgotten what God has done for us. He is no longer in the forefront of our homes, schools, businesses, government, or our hearts.

 Do we really think that our purpose on this earth is self-edification, self-indulgence, and self-satisfaction.  Self, self, self.  I believe that there are many things that my country and I need to repent of. We are guilty of murdering our babies and becoming full of pride and arrogance. Our forefathers knew that our country could only stand by the Grace of God and they built this nation on the sound fundamental of "In God We Trust!"

Haggai 1 seems very fitting for us today.

³ Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: ⁴ “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?”

⁵ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

⁷ This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. ⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house which remains a ruin while each of you is busy with your own house. ¹⁰ Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. ¹¹ I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.”

Is ISIS our real problem?  I don't think so.  I think our nation needs to humbly repent of all its wrongdoings, of its pride and arrogance, and ask Him to not turn His face from us. We need His protection but more importantly, we need Him. We need to return to our first love of Him and seek that relationship that He so desires with us.  I humbly pray for that.

Father, I ask for forgiveness in my own life.  Please forgive me for my pride...to think that I could ever be a good daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, friend, citizen, leader, without submitting to you. Thank you for your loving grace and mercy in my life. I love you!

Living Loved

I have't blogged lately because a lot has been going on. So, I won't apologize for being all over the place.  It's just how I feel.

As I watch the little birds on my back porch every morning, I realize that I need to become a lot like they are. Every morning they are the same...they come out with a beautiful song of praise... not a care in the world.  They tweet, eat, fly around...totally content to do the same thing each day.  They don't worry about how they look, or how they sound, or what they are going to eat.  They just know! I think they just know that they are loved by their maker. As the scripture says , Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Luke 12:29.

I just shared my 40th class reunion with my classmates. It was the best one we have had.  We road in the parade downtown on a float, took a trip to our old swimming hole (while still riding on the float), took pictures, talked and talked some more.  We attended the homecoming football game and we won! Whoopee! It didn't matter if we had of won or not, all we went to the game for was to be together and talk.  At the game we honored several of our beloved classmates that were no longer with us. We remembered them as the Class of '75 football players. We cheerleaders stood on the sidelines to watch intently as we had always done in years past cheering them on (even if it was only in our hearts.)  We all got together on Saturday for a good "ole" country meal of barbecue, pulled out the lawn chairs, and sat outside and reminisced. We talked about our fun days in school. Some stories I remembered, some I was "smack dab" in the middle of, and some stories were heard for the first time. There was one thing that was so evident to me during our weekend together.  It didn't matter who did what in school, who was popular and who was not, or who lived in town or who had to ride 30 minutes to school on a dirt road. We were classmates. Vernon classmates of 1975. The ground was level, no pretenses, we all cared deeply for each other.  I wrote on my face book page after it was all over "we enjoyed friends, fellowship and favor from out loving Father God." It was a very special weekend.

Sunday afternoon we curled up exhausted from our busy weekend to watch a movie on our faithful, Netflix.  Greg came across Ragamuffin written and directed by David Schultz. It is about Rich Mullins a  Contemporary Christian Songwriter and Musician and his life. He asked me if I wanted to watch this. It looked interesting enough.  The movie was dark and depressing because of the demons that Mullins faced.  The constant struggle of not being accepted or loved by his father. After years and years of struggling a friend wanted him to listen to a tape that he had from a pastor. The man on the tape said, "I am utterly convinced that on Judgement Day the Lord Jesus will ask only one question, "Did you believe that I loved you?"  That I desired you?  That I waited for you day after day?  That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?" He went on to say that this will define a real believer from the marginal believer.  The religious christian will go on doing their services but never really believe that they are loved by their Father God. My husband and I were so touched by his words. Something else that he said that was worth writing down was, "you are only as big as your own concept of God." The words spoken in the movie were probably from Brennan Manning and Ragamuffin Gospel Quotes. Wow! How powerful! Lord, please remove all the stumbling blocks in my mind that hinder my perception of you and how much you love me

Tuesday morning I was making table decorations for my sister's birthday party when I received the phone call that you pray that you will never receive...ever!!!  Frantically, my daughter said that there had been a car wreck and my youngest granddaughter was in the accident. "Hurry," she said, come to the emergency room. Earlier that day I had read Psalm 91 about God's protection over us, but at that moment, my heart felt like it stopped beating and the lump in my throat grew so large that I felt like I would choke... I began to pray. A small ray of hope flooded my soul when I heard her say through streams of emotion, "my little baby was protected by angels." I am so grateful for my sister and brother-in-law that hurriedly came to be with me while we waited for so many hours at the emergency room.  My loving husband came as soon as he heard when he got off work. We prayed as we watched the mom and dad of the little girl pace back and forth pleading for some information...just any information, but they didn't receive any for hours. Finally, we got some news. It was not good news.  We found out that my granddaughter's precious best friend that was in the back seat with her, was killed and had never made it to the emergency room.  As my daughter had told me hours earlier, my little granddaughter was doing alright.  In my mind I couldn't help but ask the question, "How can one little girl be spared and the other perish when both were in the back seat and both had their seat belts on?" " How could the driver of the car be so negligent, and after being thrown out of the vehicle receive only minor injuries?"  I received no answer, but in my Spirit I knew that God was in control.  There are no accident's and as my sweet nephew-in-law prayed with me the next day said, "there is nothing that happens out of His jurisdiction."  I pray for everyone involved, but especially for little Ana's family. Although, I know that now they can only feel loss and pain but through time I pray that they will draw close to the only one that truly loves them and has a plan for their life.  I pray for my granddaughter and her loss of a best friend and going through such a traumatic experience.  I pray that her Father God will show her how he is the best friend she could ever have.  I pray for my daughter and for her friend that drove the car.  They both made very poor choices and there will be consequences for those choices. I pray that they will come to know the love of  Father God and his tender loving mercies.

  I entitled this blog Living Loved because that has become one of my favorite sayings. It is two small simple words but means the world to the believer. For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son.. because of Jesus and my Father God's great love for me, I am living this life loved. I know how much He desires me. How He waits every day for me to talk to him. He loves the sound of my voice and He loves everything about me.  He isn't disappointed in me.  He knew the things I would do and the things I would not do. All I have to do is simply love Him with my whole heart in return.

Even if things don't turn out like I think they are suppose to...I am still loved!

139 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit or stand. When far away you know my every thought. 3 You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. 4 You know what I am going to say before I even say it.5 You both precede and follow me and place your hand of blessing on my head.

6 This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe! 7 I can never be lost to your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. 9 If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your strength will support me. 11 If I try to hide in the darkness, the night becomes light around me. 12 For even darkness cannot hide from God; to you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. 15 You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! 16 You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!

17-18 How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me.[a] And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

So, each day, like the little sparrows, I can wake up and thank Him for this beautiful day that he has made.  I can thank Him for His daily bread and praise Him that I am wonderfully made.

Psalm 139 Living Bible 

We are so loved by our Father God!
sammie jean

WHAT COLOR IS LOVE?

Around 14 years ago my life changed dramatically.  I was going to have my first grandchild.  Wonderful!  But, it was going to be a mixed child, black and white.  My religion or spirituality, if you call it that, went out of the window fast! What about my reputation?  I cried out, “Lord you know that I have been raised in a small town where everyone knows everything about everyone. “You know the mindset of people around here?” “What will they think about me, my family?”  “Races just don’t mix.” Growing up in a small town in the 60’s I had friends that were black, but lines were still drawn in the sand (unspoken at least), friendship was one thing but marriage was entirely a different issue altogether. This was 2001, but things were still not that different.  As I continued to cry out to him, as always, Holy Spirit came and comforted my soul. Here is part of a song that I wrote that night.  You are the lover of my soul. You are the lifter of my head.  You’re a safe place I can rest. I trust in you. And I did. And I have. And I continue to. He changed my heart.

He was born. The prettiest little boy you have ever seen, one deep dimple, beautiful tan skin. He captured my heart. God started to work on me. He opened my eyes to many things; bad attitudes, stereotypes, and prejudices, that had been ingrained deep into my very being…a whole lot of stinkin'-thinkin'!

I started writing a children’s book around that time. All these years, I have just left it on the shelf. I’ve pulled it out many times.  Reflected on it, and then put it back.  But, since my retirement I have really taken time to pray about it and think about what I  need to do with it.  I want to share this children’s picture book with you entitled, “What Color Is Love?”  It is dedicated to my precious grandchildren, with an acknowledgement, to the one that loves us all the same…regardless of our skin color.

THE SUN SHONE BRIGHTLY ON                                                    

 THE DAY I WAS BORN,                                     

THE BIRDS SANG SO SWEET

IN THE TREES

ALL AROUND ME WAS THE                                             

CREATION OF GOD

 AND THE WORLD WAS

 A GREAT PLACE TO BE

I LEARNED TO DANCE TO THE

MUSIC I COULD HEAR

AND SING MANY MELODIES

AND TUNES

But, then something happened…

The music was unclear

Someone told me I wasn’t

the right hue

“I’m not the right color?”

I asked myself

"How can that be?"

I look like my mommy

and I look like my dad                                     

What color am I suppose

 to be?

"Dear God?"  I asked as I looked in

 His eyes, there a tear I could see

“Do you like my color?" He replied with a smile,

“WHAT I SEE IS A REFLECTION OF ME”

I was content with His answer

But pondered this thought…

Would I ever live in a world

 Where color is not what we see?

But yet when we look on

The face of our brother

There God’s reflection will be

And the music will once again make us dance

And the "new song" that we hear,  set us free

  Because,                                                                                

When we look on the face of our

brother and sister

ONLY THE COLOR OF LOVE WE'LL SEE

Hope that one day this little book can be published.  Please pray with me that I find an illustrator that has the same vision as I do to illustrate the pictures. My prayer is that one day we will live in a world where “color is not what we see.” My prayer is the same as Martin Luther King, Jr., “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Father, I pray this same prayer today across this nation.

    Open our eyes…
sammie jean

Our grandchildren 2009

Whether it be Across the Street... or Across the Ocean

Last week we had a man come to our church from Kenya.  I enjoyed him very much.  It was heart warming.  It also stirred my heart to hear him talk about leaving his country to do what God had called him to do and to be away from his family for many years.  He talked about getting out of our comfort zone and letting God expand our borders. Ouch! That stung a little as I thought about how little I had done. I have always wanted to go to Africa.  I have always felt a connection with the children in that country. Not sure why. I love children that is one reason, but I also admire how no matter how little they have, they have such a vibrancy about life. He talked about how at the beginning of their church services the children and women dance. I can just see that!  I enjoy the culture, music, and joyful enthusiasm (of all different cultures.)  Kids are so much fun to be around anyway.  I have taught children of all color; Caucasian, African American, Hispanic and Asian.  Each one brought their own unique personality and culture to our classroom.  I find it pretty neat that God gave me grandchildren that are mixed race; black and Caucasian. I enjoy the diversity that we share together. They have taught me so much about myself and others.  I pray that someday I will be able to go on a missions trip in another country (hopefully Africa.)

My son went to the Dominican Republic on a mission trip in college. He talked about how they took baseball equipment to give to the children (not sure what ages.)  I remember him telling me how he gave his baseball glove and maybe his cleats too to a child there.  I thought that was very sweet of him.  But, the truth of the matter is, he knew that at some point, he would probably be able to get another glove and pair of shoes. (However, he did give up something of himself...his time.)

 I have a close friend that will be leaving Saturday for a mission trip in Guatemala to work in an orphanage. How wonderful it is that people are giving their time and money to help others. I'm praying for you Deb!

I often tell my husband how I want to go to the inner cities. Maybe New York.  I would love to be a part of all the wonderful things that people are doing there. I have a good friend whose children are in ministries in the inner city.  I pray that someday I will be able to go...

On October 24th, 2014, I made this journal entry:  I often ponder about world problems and what I could do to help.  As I took a walk this morning I heard Holy Spirit say, "Just take a look around you."  I met two older adults in a motorized "get around."  They met each other by the side of the road for their morning chat.  He had a bag of empty plastic bottles and she had a little plastic container with cigarettes in it.  She opened her container and ask him if he wanted a smoke. As I passed by I asked myself, "What can I offer them?" Since I didn't really know what to say or do, I gave her a smile and I said "Good morning."  She warmly smiled back and said, "Good morning." I heard His voice, "You recognized them. All people want to be recognized.  But it is very important for people in their situation to just be recognized and know that someone cares."  
That's the least I can do.  As I continued my walk I thought about so many needs just in my little block of town. I've prayed for many situations in my neighborhood.  But, I want to do more...

Our church does ministry with children and their families in foster care.  We simply take care of the children so that the husband and wife can have time alone to do whatever they would like to do.  These children are very high energy and require a lot of attention.  We just love them and play with them.  It is a wonderful time!  My husband and I enjoy doing it.

Matthew 28:16-20

The Great Commission

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

I pray for all the families that are involved in ministry here in our country and abroad.  I pray for their safety and an outpouring of God's blessing on their lives and their ministry.  I don't know where my own personal ministry will take me and my husband in the years ahead, but I pray that I have a heart attuned to the needs around me and that my eyes and ears are open at all times.  I might not ever do missions in another country (but until I have that opportunity), there is plenty to do in my own community.

sammie jean

Seasons In Our Life

Change, change, change, our lives are in constant change. I was thinking about this today as the students were back off to school. Some for the first time and some for the last time, some starting kindergarten and some deciding to not go back. Things in our lives are constantly changing, nothing stays the same.  How great is that though?  Can you imagine staying in some of the circumstances that we find ourselves in forever?  

   When I think about change, I can’t help but think about the metamorphosis of a butterfly.  One of my very favorite books when I taught first grade was, “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle.  That little caterpillar went through a lot, but then it happened… he became the most beautiful butterfly.   Yesterday was back to school for students and teachers.  It was the first time that I have felt a little sad since retirement.  It’s expected.   It was the first time I didn’t start back to school when everyone else did in 31 years.  I felt a little displaced.  I imagine I will feel that way many times while I am trying to find my place in this new season that I am in. Today I thought about a poem I wrote many years ago. I would like to share it with you.

Seasons of My Life

I want to embrace this season

That you have placed me in;

To grasp all of its meaning

from start until the end.

I know I want stay here forever,

Probably not ever again

So I want to learn the lessons

That mold just who I am.

Father, give me a teachable spirit

That I may learn from this

Give me eyes to see around me

And ears to hear what is

This life’s important lesson

in this season of my life.

 I want to see you closer

Than I ever have before

To view you from inside the lattice

Not from afar.

To walk with you more intimately

Than I ever have before.

This time I wish to cherish

As you gently speak to me

Your plan of peace, love, and joy

Unconditionally

I know that you brought me here

In this place, I am not alone

So, I will learn to trust in thee.

Teach me to praise you in the morning, noon and at night

Knowing that your presence

is always close to me.

In this season that I am in

I will not gripe and complain

I want even sit and wonder why

But, I will trust you completely

For I know who you are

and embrace this season of my life.

When Holy Spirit gave me this poem I was going through a lot of changes in my life.  But, then, what part of my life hasn’t there been changes?  I hope and pray that if you are going through changes, (and I know you are) that you will just rest that God is in control and that He does have a plan for your life.  Whether the season is sunny or rainy, hot or cold, mountains or valleys, or like me, just a little displaced, He is perfecting in us what He has started. 

Hang in there…we are loved by an awesome God that is faithful and true!  We will become that beautiful butterfly…it just takes some time!

sammie jean 

 He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.... Philippians 1:3

A "Little bit of Italy" in Chipley

It’s been exactly one month.  A month since God blessed us with the vacation of a lifetime…Italy!  I have wanted to go for most of my adult life.  So, for my retirement, Greg said, “Let’s go.” We decided to not delay it. Off we went for 11 wonderful days.  It was everything I dreamed of and so much more. I’ve seen pictures but that doesn’t prepare you for how breathtakingly beautiful it is.  We stayed in central Italy for a week and then went south for a week, to the Amalfi Coast. Although it’s only been a month, I’m starting to feel a “little” nostalgic. To help with this sentimental mood, I cooked a similar meal to the one I had in Rome and sat back and watched Romeo and Juliet on Netflix.

Several weeks ago I thought about incorporating a little Italian culture into my own home.  I decided I would go to the little market in my small town and purchase fresh fruits and vegetables each week.  I started to walk but decided it was too hot.  It was very hot in Italy but without the humidity.  If I walked to the market here, by the time I got back I would be soaked from head to toe. But not there, we walked a lot everyday and I never really got sweaty.

  Today I went and got an eggplant for dinner tonight.  I ate eggplant several times while we were in Italy; eggplant Parmesan and pasta in Rome our last night in Italy and sliced eggplant baked with olive oil cooked by Rosetta our gracious hostess at the villa in Magione.  I came up with my own variation of eggplant casserole (Italian style).  I cut up an onion and sauteed it in olive oil.  I cut up some yellow and orange peppers and sauteed them too.  I cut up the eggplant in cubes and cooked it until soft with the onions and peppers.  I added a little more olive oil.  I crumbled up buttered crackers (Ritz) and Parmesan cheese to taste.  I don’t use a measuring cup, I just add until I’m satisfied and taste as I go.  I sprinkled with a little more Parmesan and mozzarella cheese. (Our mozzarella cheese doesn’t come close to theirs.  There cheese is the best cheese I have ever tasted.)   I then cooked it in the oven at 400 degrees until bubbly hot.  I also cooked some thin pasta until tender.  In a frying pan I sauteed some minced garlic and olive oil.  I added the cooked pasta to it.  We also had a salad of mixed greens and spinach with sliced fresh strawberries and feta cheese drizzled with vinaigrette dressing.  I think I could teach the Italians a little something about how to make a salad.  The salad that we had there was a bowl of lettuce. Oh well, you can’t be perfect! (But...they’re pretty close)  Add a glass of wine, light a candle,... instantano… I’m back in Rome. 

 I am enjoying a limoncello!  Yummy!

To further my sentimental mood, I watched Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet with actors Douglas Booth and Hailee Steinfeld (all of it except for the very end, it’s too hard to watch.  If you’re a romantic, you know what I mean.)   It is such a good movie though! I cried.  It really took me back to Italy, even if the movie did take place during the Renaissance period. You have never seen such gorgeous churches as you will see there. Although the setting of Romeo and Juliet is in Verona, Italy which we did not visit (we were about 4 hours away), the architecture is still consistent throughout Italy. 

Just one of the many gorgeous churches.  I think this was in Siena.

Well, that’s enough about Italy for now.  Just one more view of the most magnificent countryside I have ever seen!

I have so enjoyed reminiscing!  Arrivederci!
sammie jean

Kaylor Got Hired!

It’s been five weeks since I walked out of my third grade classroom, out of the doors of Kate Smith Elementary School, to walk into a “new” unknown…retirement.  I’ve had several weeks to reflect, reminisce, and remember… all those many memories.

I just received a phone call from Kaylor, the college intern that interned in my classroom this school year.  She is also a dear friend.  She told me that she received a teaching position in 3^rd grade at KMS.  I am so overflowed with joy for her. At the same time, memories of the past 31 years flood into my mind.

Thirty-one years ago, 27 years old, I stepped out of college to look for a teaching job.  It was a little later than usual to finish college, but I had been working full time.  I was married and had one child.  I was so inexperienced in teaching, in fact so inexperienced around kids, other than my 5 year old daughter.  I had never been a baby-sitter, never worked at camps, I had not substituted in the classroom, didn’t have younger siblings. There just weren’t any small children around me.  What in the world had I done…I said I would never be a teacher.  That was pretty much because my dad, mom, and older sister were all educators.  I couldn’t be just like them, I thought (although they were pretty amazing people); daddy, a football and basketball coach with tons of awards including Florida Coach Hall of Fame.  He was also a high school principal.  Mama a girl’s physical education teacher and volleyball/ softball coach and admired by so many.  And my only sister, who I looked up to, was an elementary school teacher who was making a rightful name for herself.  I was going to be a secretary.  (How could I ever measure up to them anyway?)

After about 5 years of working 9 to 5 and watching my mom and sister play during the summers, I decided I might better rethink this thing. Summers off might not be too bad an idea!  Since I already had an AA degree, I knew it wouldn’t take too long to get my degree in teaching, so with that tiny thought in my mind, God opened the door wide open for me and I walked through it.  I was so uncertain of the future, but God knew the plans that he had.

It wasn’t easy but I finally got my degree and I interned in Vernon. Since I had been raised in Vernon, I just thought that I would get hired there.  However, I got a job after waiting for about 3 months at Kate Smith Elementary School in Chipley.  There I stayed for my entire teaching career. I didn’t love teaching at first.  It had to grow on me as God did a work in my life. I’ll just say I went through some stuff; divorce, single parenthood, financial ups and downs, teenagers, grandchildren, losing a parent, remarriage, just a few of life’s ups and downs.

  I worked in first grade for many years and not long after I started teaching, God gave me another precious child, a son. I saw my daughter through 1^st grade and then seven years later, I was still teaching 1^st grade when my son went through.   As I continued to teach 1^st grade for a while I started to enjoy it more and more. I eventually moved to a transition K-1 class and I found my niche.  It was a small class and I could do all the developmental activities that I loved doing.  I could also take the students on field trips that I developed around a thematic unit of study, like the one I did on a transportation unit.  We went to the marina in Panama City to look at the boats and to the airport to watch the planes take-off and land.  I planned for us to eat at a restaurant where the owner had model planes hanging from the ceiling in the restaurant.  My students thought that was pretty cool to see first-hand what we talked about in the classroom.  I really enjoyed sharing these meaningful experiences with my students.  We went to pumpkin fields and saw cane syrup being made in the fall. We pretended that it snowed in the winter (in Florida.)  We sang songs, recited rhymes, and had puppet shows. I always heard my dad say, “Those were the good ‘ole days.” I found myself saying those exact words. “Those were the good ‘ole days!”  Those were the days when you felt like you were teaching children…and loved it!

I moved to 2^nd grade and then to the 3^rd grade, where I taught the longest period of time and remained until the day I walked out for the last time.  There I lovingly watched two of my grandchildren through 3^rd grade.  I really enjoyed third grade and I especially enjoyed teaching the summer camp every summer.  Even though some students had to go to summer school mandated by the state, we tried to find a way to make it enjoyable for them, teaming up with the Public Library and doing all of the many fun activities planned there.

 Kate Smith Elementary School has been so good to me and my family.  I have made precious friends with colleagues and parents alike, dear friends that I will treasure for a lifetime. Wonderful memories of precious children…many that are adults today.

 When I found out that Kaylor was interning and wanted to intern at Kate Smith in 3^rd grade, God joined us together and made a way for her to intern in my 3^rd grade classroom.  It was wonderful for me to be able to plant seeds of my experiences in her life… and watch them grow as she did what she had always dreamed of doing. Teaching!  I always told her fondly, “Kaylor, you remind me of a child with that look of wonderment in your eye.”  What an extraordinary teacher she will be!

So, when she called me today…I cried!  I was filled with bittersweet emotion and in awe of how God does things. How he intertwines experiences and people together.  I only played a very small role in her becoming who she is today, but I find it so amazing how He allowed me to end 31 years of teaching as he prepared her to take my place! Perfect timing! God’s timing! Only He knew and He knew all along. He cares about every detail! 

Kaylor, I know that you are going to be an awesome teacher…a teacher called, and anointed by a Wonderful, Loving, Father God who always knew. He was just waiting for the "perfect" time.

Never lose that “wonder!” Love you!

Italy Trip

I am in Sorrento, Italy.  It is hot but wonderful!

Retirement Day

 I woke up early very excited to greet my "retirement day"!  Excited to go to the school that I have gone to every day for the last 31 years. The school that I brought both of my children to.  The same school that I have lovingly watched over my grandchildren at.  The school where I have been so blessed to be called a teacher.  That is what it is … a calling.  God called me to be a teacher, when I didn’t even know that I wanted to be one.  In fact, I was going to be everything but a teacher.  My dad was one, my mom was one and my sister was one.  I was not going to be a teacher!  I already had a job as a secretary and that was the field I was going to pursue.  God had other plans for my life.

I cleaned my classroom steady for two weeks or more preparing for this day; everything from hats, old files, hats, old discarded reading books, odds and ends from the past 31 years, and some more hats. Why so many hats?  One of my favorite writing assignments in 3^rd grade to go along with the book “Aunt Flossie’s Hats (and Crab Cakes Later) by Elizabeth Fitzgerald Howard, was to let them bring a hat to school that shared a personal experience that they had shared with someone.  As I explained, “The hat has a story to tell.”  So, as they wore their hat they wrote their story.  If someone didn’t have a hat, that’s when my boxes of hats came in.  Just choose a hat from the box, I would tell them and tell your story.  The book is so endearing because it is about a relationship that two young girls have with their aunt.  When they visit they get to hear stories about her adventures and they get to wear the special hat that goes with her story.  That’s what this journey is all about relationships and stories that we can share with each other.  Some good, some not so good, but nevertheless they are stories about experiences and lessons learned.  As a teacher you have a special relationship with your students for nine months that no one else has had or will ever have.  A teacher has a very special opportunity to be a special part of their students lives…I have been so blessed to have so many wonderful stories to share.

  As I walked into my retirement party at 11 today, my 3rd grade team had decorated a table for me. It was so touching and so fitting… and what was the theme?  Hats!  The table was decorated around, “Aunt Flossie’s Hats (and Crab Cakes Later)”.  There on the table was a copy of the book with heartfelt inscriptions from each team member. It was so thoughtful of them!  In the center of the table was a wide brimmed, sun hat with my initials on it, "SJO."  The table was also decorated with a large bird cage, a large pitcher, and other southern charm, including my favorite cake, pound cake. It was delicious! Also on the table was a plaque with an inscription of my name and years taught.  My precious family, dear friends, and faithful co-workers were there to share this momentous occasion with me.

As I prepared to leave my classroom for the last time, close friends dropped by to share gifts and we exchanged stories with each other, stories of love and encouragement.  The lives that I have been connected with in a special way…we shared our stories.  I had managed to hold it all together and push back the tears until the final few minutes that I shared with two special teammates.  The floodgates opened as I told them about all the memories in this classroom, good ones and bad ones.  I walked out, holding close to my heart the past 31 years.

When I was a freshman in high school my mom and I wrote a campaign speech.  She wanted to include this poem.  I do not know who wrote it but I have never forgotten it.   I am only one, but I am one, I cannot do everything, but I can do something and what I can do and what I should do, by the grace of God, I will do.  We are not called to everyone or to everything, but by the Grace of God we can be what we are suppose to be to the people in our lives. We can share our stories!

As I reminisced about this special day, words were hard, but the one thing I was sure of was that God had “winked at me”, or to say it in another way, I felt His love and favor in a very tangible way.