you can't judge a table by its glass...

As we drove by the antique store, I saw it sitting outside. An aqua blue, wrought iron chairs and glass top table. The chairs had little flower cushions in them. It was different for sure. I thought it was really cute. It wasn't "cabiny" at all. I didn't really want that rustic look this time. I thought it would add an interesting touch to our back porch. I didn't say anything the first time I saw it. I'm a thinker. A planner. So, I have to get things right in my mind before I tell my husband about it. I want to think that God has taught me this little piece of patience. We passed by it several more times and finally I told hubby that I liked it. If I tell him I like something he will try his darn level best to get it. So, I better be sure. We didn't go immediately, but a week or so later we stopped by to check on it. It was still there. As I got out of the car, I immediately went over to get a closer look. I ran my hands across the table. As I did, I saw some discoloring on one side of the table. You know that foggy look that glass gets when it is old. I put some spit on my finger and ran it across the glass to see if it was just dirty. I did it again going over the top and underneath. No it wasn't just dirty, it was discolored. As I walked into the store I told the man that I was interested in the table and chairs but that there was a problem with the glass. "Yes," he said. "I tried to clean that off when I first got it." "Make me an offer," he continued. We looked around the store. As we left, he walked out to the table and chairs, pondering for a few minutes, he came off the asking price. He even told us he could deliver it. That was the real deal maker because we didn't have a way of getting it home. A few days later he arrived with our painted blue wrought iron cutie. A chair at a time and then the big glass top table; we put it into place on the porch. I had a candle all ready to place in the middle of the table. Perfect! I loved it! It certainly added the little bit of charm I was looking for. The candle was quickly removed though, because my husband, the perfectionist that he is, had already gone to the hardware store to purchase ceramic, glass cleaner. Sure enough, he started pretty quickly trying to get the glass clean. He even bought razor blades to scrape it. He was certain that he could get it clean. He scrubbed and scraped. Remember that sound kids make when they scratch their fingernails down a chalkboard? Well maybe your too young. Oh well, anyway, it will make your skin crawl. After almost an hour he said, "It looks like I'm not going to be able to get it off." "It's okay," I assured him. "It doesn't have to be perfect," I re-assured him (and me.) "It's okay if it is flawed," I said. "Everything and everyone has flaws." "Yes, we do," he agreed. He continued to wipe a little. I could tell it was hard for him to give up on it. We're really different, my husband and I, yet alike too. We both think outside of the box, just usually at opposite ends of it. I had already planned in my mind the color of place mats to use on the table. "We'll just cover that spot up," I thought. He told me again that he was sorry that he wasn't able to get it clean. He had bought it for me and couldn't stand that it wasn't just right. I love that about him. As I sat on the porch and watched him clean, I started thinking about imperfections in my own life. I thought about how about twenty-one years ago my husband at the time and I took our seven year old daughter to a large hospital out of town to have laser surgery done to remove the port wine stain on her cheek. I found out about the surgery and since it was considered a birth defect, insurance would cover it. We took her several times and it was quite painful for her. She said that it felt like grease popping on her face. The surgeon said that the next time that we did it, we needed to put her asleep because of the pain. I didn't want to do that. But, we left it up to her. It was her choice. I will never forget her saying. "I don't want to do it anymore." "Just leave it like it is. It's a part of me." Wow! Straight from the mouth of babes. I had never looked at it like that. I had in my mind that it wasn't suppose to be there. We needed to have it removed. Thank you daughter for teaching me a valuable lesson that day.  Recently, my friends and I got together at the beach. We try to do that at least once a year. I wanted to make something special for them. They are life-long friends. Those kind of friends that you literally only have "once in a lifetime." We have a lot of things in common but one thing we have in common is we have been through a lot of "trying experiences," that left a few scars. The most amazing thing though is that each one is a beautiful reminder of God's faithfulness to us. These are not just ordinary women to me they are virtuous women. Women that I love very much. I painted the scripture out of Proverbs 31 on a canvas, "She is worth far more than rubies." One for each one of them. After I finished one, I noticed that I had filled in all of the "f" rather than kept the loop open. It didn't look bad. It just looked different than the other two. I decided to let them just pick a gift bag rather than me giving it to them. In that way, I left it up to God. Well, sure enough the friend that I felt in my heart I wanted to give it to, picked it. She texted me days later and told me, "I just love it." I told her the story how I wanted her to have it, but left it up to Him. She understood perfectly. I knew she would ♡ There is something so special about being broken open and then allowing Jesus to piece you back together again. Every scar, every flaw, every wrinkle, every limp, every little bitty piece of imperfection, is there for a reason. I love that even our own mistakes will serve a purpose in His kingdom; nothing ever wasted. Each one are lessons learned and character made stronger. It is a reminder of His love for us; every single day. He doesn't make mistakes. So, how could I ever view an imperfection as anything other than absolutely beautiful? You know the old saying, you can't judge a book by its cover?  Well...you can't judge a table by its glass either 💕

sammie jean

Poem

Old Camp Town

Ode to an old campground in the sixties

I remember our vacation

(When I was a child)

Every summer was a must;

We hit the road, loaded down,

Carolina bound or bust

 Campground in the Blue Ridge

Enormous summer fun;

Our little haven standing still,

Awaiting our return

The mountain side steep trails

  laden with brown crispy leaves;

The oaks standing proud and tall

rope swing swaying in the breeze

Pulled my pants up to wade the

icy cold stream;

“Last one in is a rotten egg,”

 the water hole was our dream

This stone is right where I left it

It’s granite, I was told;

Stone terraces all around us

 such beauty to behold

Campfire blazing, marsh mellows roasting,

Scary stories before bed;

My favorite one of all the tales,

The Horseman with No Head

Oh, the memories…
though not mine;
Are calling my name,
there etched in time

  They speak to me,

not sure how...

 I wasn't there then,

But, I am NOW!

Sammie Jean

Poem written for our cabin in NC

it's not just a cabin

"I'm not fixing the creak in the screen door," he said. My husband is such a "fix-it" man that it kinda surprised me to hear him say that. "It reminds me of the door we had in our house when I was a little boy," he continued. I could relate. The creaking noise reminded me of the door on my grandparent's front porch too. The way the screen door hits the wood frame when you let it go. It's an annoying gratifying kind of sound. Every time I hear it, I become ten years old and back on my grandparent's porch near Hard Labor Creek. There's just so much about our little red cabin on Red Bird Lane in the mountains of North Carolina that reminds us of our past. Even the red bird brings back memories for us. It's not that I grew up in a cabin. It's not that my husband did either. We both grew up in a 60's style home. But, we love the "feel"; it's homey, warm and cozy.  Everywhere we look is a heart's desire that we have had over the years; things that only God could have known. Living in the mountains has been a dream of ours, (mine mostly). I would say for at least forty years. I'll never forget one morning I got up and turned on my computer and this property was the first thing that I saw. It just came out of no where. We asked our realtor to show it to us. He didn't know anything about it because it belonged to another realty company. I think it was almost the last house we looked at on our two week journey for a cabin. We loved the ride into the cabin as much as the house itself; the mountain range, low valleys, pruned vineyard, green pastures, playful horses, grazing cows, bubbly streams, little wooden bridges, so so pretty. We turned onto Old Camp Town and as we climbed the mountain, not too far up, there it was, right smack dab in the middle of an old campground. The stone-terraced walls all around the property were picturesque. I couldn't help but think about how long it must have taken to build each one; each rock strategically placed.   I could almost hear the children's voices echoing outside; "Here dad use this stone. It's a pretty one." My husband has a barn up on the hill and I even have a little "craft" building. Just perfect for the two of us.When we get tired of each other we will have a place to go 💕 My little building was actual the building used to take up the money as the guest arrived at the campground. So much history. And in the middle of all this nostalgia...our little cabin. It was truly love at first sight. In the campgrounds "hay day" it was the bath house. It was remodeled but they kept the authentic orange pottery-style tiles in the bathroom and kitchen. The floor to ceiling stone fireplace in the living room was definitely the first thing I loved about the inside of the cabin. It was made with stones from outside. In fact the same stones that the terraced walls were made of. This is the first fireplace that I have ever had of my own. I know this sounds a little eccentric, but the first couple of nights that we stayed in our cabin, the fire had not gone out when it was time for us to go to bed. I told my husband I was going to stay up a little longer. The truth was that I couldn't stand to waste one ounce of that beautiful fire burning in the living room with me in the bed not seeing it. So, I watched it until there was nothing left but ashes and soot. It reminded me of when I was just married and my children were small, I would go to mama's and daddy's house and sit on the hearth as the fire blazed hot against my back. No matter what was going on in my life it seemed as if all was right with the world at that moment. A fire in a fireplace has that kind of effect on me. Our cabin was left furnished which was part of our deal with the sellers. We knew they would be leaving some goodies because we saw them in the house. But, there are some real treasures. Cabinets in the kitchen made with glass panes in the front. I remember asking my ex-husband when we built our home if I could have them in our kitchen. Don't remember exactly what he said but it was something like; they cost too much. Well, for whatever reason I didn't get them. There's this authentic wind-up phone on the wall that caught my husbands attention immediately.  As we plundered inside the phone, we saw all the working parts; an original Stromberg-Carlson. Whoever he is. It's definitely an antique. My husband was overwhelmed by it though. Not sure if it's because of his love for the things of the past or because of his career with the phone company. Whichever it is, he is in love. It's definitely a keeper. They left a lot of pictures on the walls; the ducks on the pond remind my husband of his wonderful mother and her love for ducks. I hung it in the hallway where he can see it from his chair. And the picture of the girl desperately climbing up the hill, longing for home. I loved it so much that I hung it over our bed. They also left old furniture; beds, a wooden chest, and a few other pieces. On the back porch are wooden rocking chairs. There is nothing else like rocking in a rocking chair on the porch. We have a beautiful view of the mountains in the distance and I hear water bubbling in the brook next door as it makes it way down the mountain to its final destination, a little pond. It was the swimming hole for the campers. When we were in town I found a hand-painted wooden plaque to put on my porch; Linger Longer. If I had a motto that would be mine. There is nothing in life that I enjoy doing more than just taking my time and really enjoying the moment. Whether it be rocking on the porch with a cup of coffee and quiet time with Jesus, watching the sunset at the beach with my mother and sister, having a dinner by the lake with my husband or sitting around the campfire with family and friends. Whatever it may be, it just seems to get better with the lingering. Our North Carolina friends were the first couple to have dinner with us in our new home. They were the perfect couple to help us christen it.  Everything about our first stay in our little home was perfect. Well almost everything, except for one little thing.  I  call it the, "demon of the microwave." The microwave left in the home was not working. So, we took it to the barn along with other things we didn't want or need. We went to Wal-mart and purchased a larger, nicer, microwave the next day. The next morning my husband went to warm up his egg, ham, and cheese biscuit only to discover the microwave came on but wouldn't get warm. We toted that microwave around the house to several different outlets. It still didn't work. We figured it had to be an electrical problem since it was a brand new one. I was ready to lay my hands on it and pray for it. We happened to mention to the Fire Chief that we ran into the next day that we were having microwave problems. He said that he would think about someone that might could help us. Next morning bright an early someone appeared at our door. Who might it be but an electrician. He was definitely a Godsend. Not only did he check out the electricity coming into our house but fixed our hot water heater element, which had totally burned into, which could have easily caused a fire. He fixed our ice maker, kitchen sink faucet, and replaced two new plugs in the bathroom. He found no problem with our electricity. A neighbor came by the next day and took both microwaves to his house just to see if they would work. They didn't. Never heard of it before, but our brand new microwave was torn up. We decided to go to a small store downtown where we purchased a much smaller microwave and finally... it worked!!!!  No, it's not the fanciest home. It doesn't have the best view in the mountains. It doesn't even have a little bridge out front that crosses a bubbling brook. Actually, it's a small little cabin in the middle of an old campground, full of history, nevertheless. It's not just a cabin though ...it's the cabin of our dreams...the one God picked out just for us. We might have "wondered around" a little in our life, but like the girl in the picture that hangs over our bed, we are finally home 💑

sammie jean

it's a boy...

 My son and daughter-in-law told me they had an early Christmas gift for me as they pulled me off to the side. They handed me a picture in a frame. It was a picture of an ultrasound. It was a picture of their baby; our grandchild. It was the best Christmas present! We were just a little excited, to say the least! It's been a long time since my husband and I have had a baby in our family; almost twelve years to be exact. A few months later, she asked us if we wanted to go with them to find out the gender of the baby. I answered without hesitation, "Yes." I wouldn't miss that for the world. We walked into the room and encircled the bed where our daughter-in-law lay, all eyes were on her and her tummy. All ten to be exact! All of us staring with nervous anticipation; daddy, both grandparents and sister. And then there he was on the screen, active as could be; little arms waving and little legs running, it seemed. We oohed and awed, all giddy with excitement. After what seemed like hours she told us the gender. She circled the important parts and wrote on the screen, "It's a boy." We all clapped and cheered. I was filled with a lot of emotion. It was a pretty big deal. I remembered a very similar time. Thirty-one years ago I lay in the bed, as the technician "jellied up" my belly. I was so excited to hear what we were having. We already had a girl. Our daughter was seven years old. I was twenty-nine. We hadn't even talked about the gender. I was just so excited to be pregnant again, I hadn't had time to even think about it. With watchful eyes we followed her every move as she placed pictures of our little baby on the screen. She closely looked all over its body. And then she stopped and she said, "Do you see that?" "Yes," we said, "But, what is that?" we asked. "It's a little boy." Oh my...I don't really remember what I said. It was probably because I was speechless. I do remember what my husband said though. He said, "Are you telling me that I am going to have a son?" "Yes, that's what I am telling you." Not sure, but he probably asked that same question a few more times. We both were ecstatic!!! Let me explain why that was such a big deal to us. First of all, every man wants a son and because we already had a daughter, I wanted a son too. But, not only was I excited for us, I was so excited for my daddy. You see my daddy had been a coach for many years. He was an athlete in high school and college and very passionate about boys sports. I'm sure he wanted a son. Bless his heart he had two girls. My mama was very happy with two girls, I must add. When their first child was a girl, that was fine. But, when their second child was a girl too, I'm sure my daddy said, "Put her back." "I want a son." Just kidding. However, he did want a son very badly. You know how I know that? I'm living proof. They named me Sammie. My daddy's name was Sam. So, just as you would expect, I was a tomboy. Sorta. I tried really hard to be a good athlete. Sorta.  But, more important than anything else, I tried really hard to please him. I would have tried to climb the highest mountain for my dad. It was very important for me to prove myself worthy of my namesake. After my sister was married, her and her husband had two daughters. Then I got married and we had a daughter, also. My dad had two daughters and three granddaughters and then...finally came a little boy. I just had to give him my surname, there just wasn't another name suitable for him. I knew it would mean a lot to my daddy. They became quite the pair. He loved his time over at papa's and nana's house; fishing in the pond, swimming in the pool, playing all around my daddy as he worked in the yard and his fish house. Not only was he just a little spoiled but a little prankster too; setting traps in the yard hoping he would get his papa hung up in one of them. I often wondered what he would have done if he had of actually caught him. My daddy was a very large man so I'm sure there would not have been a chance of that. They just enjoyed each others company.  His papa and his daddy took him fishing and hunting. They both instilled in him a deep love for the outdoors. One that he still enjoys today. Just like his papa, he was a very good athlete. Good in baseball, football, and basketball. Baseball became his real love though. Like his granddaddy and his daddy, he was a very good pitcher. His papa and nana were at every game cheering him on. Of course, his daddy and I didn't miss a game either.  I'll never forget when he first started playing t-ball, (his hat bigger than he was), he was all over the field. It was obvious that he thought it was his responsibility to play every position. I remember clearly the coach telling me one night after the game that he had something real special.  Yes, he was definitely a special little boy. This morning I was reminded of what the Lord told me when he was a small baby. He put in my heart, that when I prayed over him to say, "Mitchell, you are a mighty man of God." I tried to always remember to do that. As he grew, especially through the teen years, I remember many times reminding God of what He had said, (like he didn't remember.) As we stood in that small room with my son, daughter-in-law, her mama and sister, it wasn't a formality.  It was a sacred occasion. One that I will always cherish. Dear son, my prayer for you is that the Lord burn in your heart those words fresh and anew; that you will always be the strong husband for your wife and loving father for your son.  Dear daughter, you are a precious soul. Dear grandson, I love you. The three of you have my heart always ❤

mama

2017 in pictures

TWO THOUSAND SEVENTEEN...

We did it...

New home in Talogia

 Family reunion. My Uncle Mitch. The only child left of the family.

Snow moon...one of many moon pics 

New flower bed.

spring break visit from grands

60th BD catch Talogia Creek

Spring day

The "Big 60" in Vegas

Lifelong dream at 60

construction

Always working ❤

critter friends

Mama, sister, and I at the beach
doing one of our favorite things
eating 😃

mama enjoying life on the beach 

Mia enjoying life in the woods

Love my wildflowers

Project accomplished
"His mercies are new every morning"

Family visit

Gorgeous sunsets

and more critters

BGF'S beach bash

Micah at summer church camp

Beautiful additions to our family

Boys visit

Mitchell's BD Mexican style

three week stay in North Carolina

Greg's fav in NC

solar eclipse, Franklin, NC

Micah football 8th grade

Malachi football 9th grade

New York, NY
with sweet friends

Big trip for sister and I
the "Big Apple"

Celebration of Life

Greg walking our new property
in NC

Special moments
Greg's BD with family

Micah first basketball, 8th grade

long awaited movie with Mia, "Wonder"

First Christmas in Talogia

Christmas Party in Talogia
Greg's
Family and My family
Hope it's a tradition ❤

...and then there was baby D 💕💑❤
what an end to 2017
Love him/her ❣

My children's grandfather died this year. I walked into his room to visit him. His niece walked up to me and said, "he just passed." I stood at the bed arm and arm with his sister. Tears filled our eyes. I told her that I just wanted to say "hello." It had been a while since I had done that. Instead I had to say"good-bye." Life is so uncertain. Everything can change so quickly. 2017... year of many first and last. Good-bye's and hellos. A year of endings and new beginnings. A year of restoration. Special time with family and friends; old ones and new ones. Father God, you've stretched us. You've shown us new paths. You've blessed us ☙

forever grateful ❤

sammie jean 

Dear 2017

Dear 2017,

Wow, what a journey this has been. Moving to a new town, into the woods and living in a camper has been quite the experience or I should say...an eye opener, for sure. I've learned a whole lot about myself. And we've learned a whole lot about each other, my husband and I. We knew quickly that this would be a make or break situation for us. You learn things about someone living in a 25 x 8 (or so) that you never knew, no matter how long you have been married. And speaking of small spaces... it's definitely the bathroom. I don't like to close the door because I get a little claustrophobic, but if you don't...well, let me just say, your business becomes everyone's business. I knew that I had to get organized and fast. It's funny to hear me say that. Organization is not my forte. My husband is the organized one. He built us a walk-in closet. Now my clothes are neatly hung up. Even separated into seasons. We love our tiny bedroom with our little comfy, cozy bed. And my kitchen.. an open floor plan for sure; the kitchen and den are one. I have a small oven in my kitchen. My oven and I have  become pretty good friends though.  It's funny how I've cooked things on it that I never cooked before when I had a larger oven. I made my first sweet potato pie ever. In fact didn't even know I liked it. It was always my mamas and sisters favorite. Made my first batch of tea cake cookies. Always loved my granny's. And can't begin to tell you how many egg custard pies I've made. My absolute favorite. I have even found myself washing, cutting, and cooking turnip greens.  I guess I have returned to my roots, enjoying now all the things that I had growing up. My daddy always loved to hunt and fish in this area. I understand why. We love the outdoors too. Hubby on his tractor. Me in my flower bed. I have found a new love...gardening. I planted wildflowers this spring. It took them a long time to come up. They didn't come up at the same time either. So much spontaneity, it seemed. Some big, some small, some yellow, some crimson, some tall, some short. Never knew exactly what to expect. So beautiful. There were a lot of life lessons learned in my flower bed this year. Love my little critters too. We have a grey lizard that lives on the wooden post on the edge of the front porch. We watched him everyday. He quickly became a friend of the family. The birds, deer, all of God's creatures...it's like seeing them for the first time. I can't get enough pictures. Everywhere I look is a picture opportunity or something to write about. I love my morning walks. I honestly think that it and my talk each morning with Jesus has made me a better person. My husband built a large, wooden, front porch. He loves to build and is very good at it. We have practically lived on it, especially in the fall and spring. It wasn't long after we moved in, my husbands family came over one night and we sat on the front porch and talked. I just kinda knew what God was up to. I was pretty sure that He wanted to restore all those lost years. It felt so right that night. It still feels right. My husband dreams of building a cabin on this land. I do too. I hope our dream comes true. I have pretty much my whole life lived a very short distance from my whole family. It's easy to take that for granted a little.  My family is doing just fine without seeing me every week. I appreciate them a whole lot more than I did before. Maybe they do me too. You know sometimes you don't really appreciate what you have until it's gone...(or it just moves a little further away.)  I went over to see my mother every other day when I lived close by her. This Christmas was the first time in my life that I packed up my car to go home. I've always heard people talk about it; songs are written about it, stories penned, movies are made about it. Well I finally got to do it. There I was, one early morning, sitting on the couch in her den, just a day before Christmas, fireplace ablaze, Christmas tree lit, my mother and a cup of freshly made hot coffee, when I realized... there is no place like home. Home is where your heart is. And my mother is truly the heartbeat of our family. I can't imagine life without her. You know those "warm fuzzy's" that you get sometime? Well, I got them. This year at Christmas, I also got to have my live Christmas tree outside on the porch of our new home in the woods. I had envisioned it for a while; all decorated with large colored lights, little stick legged reindeer, glittered pine cones, and Borax crystals looked "plum pretty," I thought. The "crafty" side of me came out.  My daughter was so sweet when she came to visit us the night of our outside movie with all our family. She said, "Mama, your front porch is so pretty. It looks like it came right out of a magazine." My nephew-in-love told me that he noticed all the detail in the decorations. Thinking about it...you know that is what this year has been all about, "noticing all the details." Thanks for that ♡ I'll never forget when we first started going to the church in the small town here. It was a Wednesday night, our pastor told us that we were going to take church to an elderly woman that was "shut-in". I remember walking into her living room as we all gathered around her to sing. She sat in her recliner all bundled up; old and frail. We sang timeless hymns, as our pastor played the guitar. Her eyes strong and alert, scanning the room to see all the love around her. I didn't even know her and loved her. The presence of the Lord was so tangible. I couldn't help but cry. I had never done anything like that before. Thank you Lord for our new church family.  I'm learning to look for His love everywhere; on faces and places all around me.  I guess if I had to choose my very, most favorite thing, about this year, it would have to be our nights out by the campfire, gazing into the pitch dark night sky. Two chairs. A blazing fire. A couple of hooting owls. And billions upon billions of brilliant, dancing stars. Breathtakingly beautiful. And the super moon too. Standing on the porch, watching it rise in the east, just over the treetops...it's like you could reach out and touch it. We stood out in our yard and prayed a year ago, right after we moved here, "Lord, thank you for this land that you have given us. We are dedicating it back to you for you to use for your glory," my husband said. We will forever cherish it. And this beautiful year that we have had. Life might be simple and laid back here but what I've learned about myself has been worth more than money could ever buy.  I've learned that it's not the size of my house but rather the size of my heart. We are "living larger" than ever before. And my husband?  I love him even more today 💕  Thank you Father God for this year. It has been amazing.

forever grateful,
sammie jean

back to 1976...

We took our granddaughter today to see the movie Wonder, based on the book written by Raquel Palacio. I have been trying to get her to read the book since May and she only recently bought it and read it. It is now November, almost Thanksgiving. It is a must see movie. Especially for young preteens and teenagers. Middle school age especially.  I wanted her to see it because it deals with so many issues that kids that age have to deal with. However, it's the kind of movie that has something for everyone. In my opinion, If you can't find an issue dealt with in the story then all I can say is you live a perfect life (whatever that is) or you are just sweeping your stuff under the rug. Close to the end of the movie the older sister that was dealing with her own set of problems in the family, kinda fell into the part of Emily Webb (without giving too much away). Emily is a character in the play, Our Town, a play that her school was performing. As she recited the monologue I remembered when I was a little girl and my mother and her high school students performed this play. As a side note, the play was written the year I was born. Oh well,  I guess it had an impact on me even at that young of an age because in 1976 I recited the same monologue in my drama class in the community college nearby where I was attending. During the movie as she recited it, I was immediately transported back. I remembered how nervous I was. I also remembered the emotion I felt while I was reciting it. I could feel her pain too. I relived it all. I must have done a pretty good job because my teacher asked me to recite it again in front of the whole student body during a drama expo. That was 41 years ago.  Who was that 19 year old girl? Not sure I remember. One thing I do know though is I am so thankful for how far I have come.

monologue by Emily Webb from the play Our Town written by Thornton Wilder, 1957
Emily died in child birth and was given a chance to go back home to a time she remembered.

I can't bear it. They're so young and beautiful. Why did they ever have to get old? Mama, I'm here. I'm grown up. I love you all, everything. I can't look at everything hard enough. Oh, Mama, just look at me one minute as though you really saw me. Mama, fourteen years have gone by. I'm dead. You're a grandmother, Mama. I married George Gibbs, Mama. Wally's dead too. Mama, his appendix burst on a camping trip to North Conway. We felt just terrible about it - don't you remember? But, just for a moment now we're all together. Mama, just for a moment we're happy. Let's look at one another. I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. All that was going on in life and we never noticed. Take me back - up the hill - to my grave. Good-bye, Grover's Corners. Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking. and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths. And sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it? Every, every minute? I'm ready to go back. I should have listened to you. That's all human beings are Just blind people.

Thank you Father for opening my eyes and heart to see you!  For healing me of all the pain. (I don't have to go back, ever, ever again)  I hope and pray that I can live the rest of my life with my "eyes wide open." ♡

sammie jean