To My Son and Daughter-In-Law (You Warm My Heart)

I remember saying to my son at birth,     

 you're a gift from God, 

 a mighty man of God you will be.

Enjoy being a child, play and learn,

for a child you will not always be.

Hope and pray and dream big dreams  

   someday the right woman will come along...

I  prayed for the wife that one day you would find

a gift from God she would be.

A wife of beauty, poise, and grace

to compliment you in every way

A wife with a heart full of love,

and a smile of warmth on her face

And you in turn would have the heart

to be the man God made you to be

Together you would fulfill your life's journey

and your destiny you would see

 For in His perfect time

       He would bring you together and

together you would always be...

It isn't an accident that you found each other

   it was ordained and it was meant to be

So protect this precious gift from God

   hold her close to your heart every day

Always know that my prayer was answered

   you both are so dear to me

You warm my heart, fill my life with joy,

   a gift for eternity.

 With love,

     Mama

    April, 2016

A LOVE STORY

How God brought my husband and I together is really a wonderful love story. He truly is God's gift to me. He is my knight in shining armor (if there is such a thing.) I love him with my whole heart!

 I waited for him for almost 11 years.  I promised the Lord, I would not go out and look for a husband. I said, "If you have someone for me, you will have to bring him to me.” That’s pretty bold, I would say.  But, I truly meant it.  I had not really done it right with my first marriage and didn’t want to do the same thing again. My husband and I laugh about it, but it’s really true. God had to prepare his heart for me and mine for him.  That is why it took 11 years...no wait I mean 40 years. Whew! We are two stubborn people!

  We grew up together in the same little town, on the same ice cold creek (just different parts of it), and I knew of his family and he knew of mine, but our paths never really crossed.  We even went to the same school. I was just a few years younger. But, we had different interest, different friends, and grew up on different sides of town.  It just wasn’t meant to be yet.  I married and had children. And he married and had children.  I divorced. He divorced. He moved all over the country working and I stayed put in northwest Florida teaching.  It still wasn’t time. 

I saw him at our church. But, didn't really pay much attention to him. Not that he wasn’t a handsome man, he was very handsome it’s just that I didn’t really look at anyone in that way, because of the vow I had made with the Lord. I had not gone out on a single date after the divorce of my ex-husband. I was asked a few times but never really interested.   Anyway, I still had a young son to raise. He was really my focus.  I also had to get my life in order, so I needed time to learn to love God with all my heart and allow Him to teach me to love myself.  The best way that I can describe it is I was married to the Lord and I didn’t desire anyone else in my life.

I still get goose bumps just thinking about it.  One fall night I came home from a Fall Festival at the school I was teaching at and went to my caller ID to receive my phone calls. There on the caller ID  was his name.  I'm trying hard to write in words what my heart, mind, and emotions experienced that night. I had seen him at church but never one time thought about him in that way but when I saw his name that night, I knew in my spirit that he was the one. I just knew. I can only imagine… Mary pregnant with Jesus, walked up to Elizabeth and she knew immediately by the Spirit that she was pregnant and Elizabeth's baby leaped inside of her. Well, I'm not trying to compare myself to Mary, Elizabeth, or Jesus. ( I know you think, well that’s a little far-fetched), but my heart leaped inside of me and I heard Holy Spirit say, "he's the one."

I started to cry for a lot of reasons. It was bitter-sweet.  I was excited that “the one and only” that God had chosen for me had appeared.  I was overwhelmed that God had really done what I asked Him to do.  I didn’t go out and look for him…he came to me. He had fulfilled His promise to me.  But, sad at the same time because I didn’t want my relationship with the Lord to change. It had been just the two of us for so long. There were a lot of different emotions flowing. I was scared to death, so I didn’t call him back.  I just let God do what He wanted to do in us.  Yes, in days to come I looked at him in a whole different way. I fell madly in love with this man that God had chosen for me.

We started dating In November, 2008 and got married in July 2009.  It’s almost been 7 years and each day together we are learning a little more about loving each other the way that God intends us to love.   God put us together. What God wants to teach me about myself I can learn through my husband. What my husband needs to learn about himself, he can see in me.  I am his help-mate and he is mine. When God joins two people together that is the awesome thing about their union. They have each other and Holy Spirit to lead, guide and direct them. That is the union that Father desires. The Trinity Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the perfect union.   The more that we allow Holy Spirit to teach, guide and direct us, will be how much we can love and help other people.  That is the desire of our union together. To love God with all our heart, love each other, and love the people that He puts in our lives.

 I wanted to tell you about our love story so that I could use it as a parallel to the greatest love story ever told, the love story between Jesus and His Bride, The Church.  I love the symbolism that He uses.  We understand it so well.  There is not a person that can’t understand the love that a bride has for her groom and the anticipation that she feels to be his wife.  We can all see the burning desire in a groom’s eye as his bride walks down the aisle to stand beside him.  She is ultimately the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth to him. There is no one else that he desires but her. There is no other time in a person’s life that they desire someone as much as when they are walking down the aisle to stand by the love of their life.

I can see why Jesus calls us His Bride.  The burning desire in His eye is for us. He is jealous for us and wants us to have no other lover but Him. He wants us to leave all others and cleave only to Him.  He loves us so much! He gave His life for us, so that we can spend eternity with Him. What an amazing love story.  I want to love Him in that way!  I want to desire His presence in my life more than I desire anything else! 

Thank you, for everything you have done in my life...

Thank you, just doesn't seem adequate ❤

sammie jean

ADMIRATION FOR MY MOTHER AND SISTER

I didn’t eat black- eyed peas and hog jowl for New Years Day, probably for the first time in 58 years.  I grew up with my mama cooking it every New Years Day and my daddy sayn’, “You better eat a spoon full at least or you want have good luck this year.” Maybe this is a sign that things are going to be different…don’t know! But one thing I do know, my luck doesn’t depend on black eyed peas.

In the last month I have been reminded several times to hold close this special time that I have with my mother and sister. A lady from Nashville told my sister and I how precious this time was that we have with our mother while lying on the beach in November.  Recently at a funeral as I passed by my dear friend to give her my condolences she whispered in my ear, “Love that Brenda.” She knew what it felt like to lose her only sibling, her precious sister.  So, I am not going to waste this special time that God has given us to be together. This blog is dedicated to my loving mother, and sweet sister.

 My mother and daddy were married over 50 years, moving to Vernon, Florida after only being married several years.  Daddy was a coach, PE teacher, high school principal, and eventually elected to the State House of Representative from our district. My mother always said about my daddy, “You either loved him or hated him, there was no in between.” I loved that about my daddy. On the other hand, my mother was loved by everyone in Vernon. Not only that, everyone always talked about how beautiful she was. All her athlete’s adored her and her PE students as well. Mother was the girl’s PE teacher and coach for her entire career at Vernon High School. (Thirty something years, (I think). Even today, everywhere I go they ask me about my mother. When they see her they still compliment her on how well she looks. My mother is 84. Not only is she beautiful, but she is highly thought of, loved, and respected. One of the greatest admiration I have for my mother is how she stood by my daddy. As the song goes, she was definitely the wind beneath his wings. It was so beautifully written in my nieces’ blog. I would like to share.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Written by Herrika Thornton

^Heritage

^{I watched her as she got dressed.  She held deep sorrow in her eyes, yet I saw strength, courage and beauty.  There I stood, a girl just getting started good as a wife; not yet a mother, watching this lady who had lived a life time of joy and sorrow.  This day, like so many others, she was a wife dressing to please the man that she had spent a lifetime with, a life that held many sweet stories.}  

^{“Do you think he would think I look pretty today?” she asked me.}

^{I stumbled for words as the tears stuck in my throat.  “Yes ma’am, I know he would,” was my reply because to me she was beautiful dressed in red.  You see red was his favorite color.} 

^{“Well today I’ll stand by him one last time,” was her soft declaration.}

^{Standing by him was all she knew how to do.  She had done so with joy, pride and love for so many years.  Standing by him, honoring him was like breathing to her.}

^{My Nana stood by my Papa’s casket that night for hours as person after person filed by her, expressing their sympathy.  She chatted with each person, hugging and sharing tears with many, but all the while she stood. With elegance and grace she stood beside her husband one more time.} 

My sister is four years older than I.  We weren’t that close in school.  But, I wanted to be everything that my sister was; popular with the boys, well-liked in school, pretty, smart, a great cheerleader, and passionate about her love for Jesus. She made it a little difficult for me because I knew I could never measure up. After a few years in college, Brenda married Ricky and they have been married 40+ years. She taught school upon retiring for 35 years or more. My sister taught elementary school for years and years, moved to middle school, and because she felt a call from the Lord to move out of her “comfort zone”, she moved to high school and served as a Reading Coach to support reading in all other subject areas. I can only imagine how difficult that was! That took a lot of inner strength to do that. I’m so proud of my sister!

And all this time, she has labored in love tirelessly with her husband, as she and he have served as pastors for at least 20+ years. I’ve watched her close up, love and support him during times that it would be easy to walk away and say, “You’re on your own this time.” For we all know that the Lord gives words to the pastor and sometimes they are difficult words, words not easily swallowed at first.   But, never did she do that. She has prayed for, stood steadfast and loyal to her husband. She has been there to lift his head and not tear him down. I admire her so much for that!
  

What an honor to have two women in my life that have been such excellent role models for me, and our children.  Both have loved and honored their husbands and have put God first in their lives. Recently trying to think of a verse that would honor my sister’s birthday I thought of Ruth 13:1. It is so fitting for them both:  Where you go I’ll go and where you stay, I’ll stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  My mother and sister have lived by these words. They have stood in the middle of wagging tongues, unpopular beliefs, and had their share of valley experiences and have not wavered. They stood by their husband’s and in doing so honored their God.

I don’t have any idea what 2016 will bring. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions either. But, if I was to make one I think it would be along the lines of, I want to love a little harder and love a little longer… my husband, our children, grandchildren, all my family and friends…my mother and sister (thank you, you make me want to be a better person)

 I believe this will bring glory to my Loving Heavenly Father and make him proud of his daughter.

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

Sometimes He Says Yes and Sometimes No

Today as I walked, listened to my mp3 player and prayed, I thought about many things in my life and my family’s life.  I noticed an Asian woman walking too.  We passed each other and smiled and said, “Hi.” I continued my walk for another mile or so.  As I was coming close to the end of my walk, a car drove past me, turned around and came back.  The car stopped right beside me and a woman rolled her window down and she said, “I was looking for you.  It was the Asian woman I saw walking earlier.  She handed me a little booklet and she said, “Jesus loves you!” Oh, my goodness! How that touched my heart and warmed my soul.  Holy Spirit, laid on her heart for her to search for me.  She had no idea how much it meant to me.  It was so sweet of her to take the time to come and tell me that.  I do know that Jesus loves me and that is a promise that I hold on to!

I was thinking about prayer and how prayer seems to be a very misunderstood subject.  It appears to me that some people think prayer is so sacred that you have to have a certain combination of do’s and don’ts to be an effective prayer warrior.  Well, I don’t think so! (1) I can pray anywhere, anytime.  (2) I can stand, walk, kneel, lie down, jump, stand on my head (can’t do that), in my car, on my job, or in my closet. (3) I can walk throughout my day in communication with Him.  It’s all about my heart.  I think it’s all about my attitude toward God. Father loves me and like any good father, He will only do what is best for me.  So, it would be in my best interest to get to know Him (very well).  Not just what He can do for me.

I know it sounds so cliché to say, “Lord, I need you” because you hear it said so often.  It’s not just a pretty song either, “I need thee every hour.”  The real truth is, I do need you every hour (and want you every hour.) and yes (4) I can ask Him for the desires of my heart and petition Him for needs of others too.

Like I said before, it’s a heart issue.  I cannot make it in this life without his wisdom, understanding, grace, and love for me (foremost).  I can’t really depend on anyone else. Not even my good family, close friends, not even myself.  I want to have lines of communication open at all times with Him.  He is the only one that will always be for me; yesterday, today, and forever.  If my prayer life, consist only of praying when I need or want something, then the truth is that I don’t really want Him in my life…just what He can do for me.

What got me thinking about prayer was, the other day I was praying about something…oh yeah, I was praying about my son’s endeavor for a new job.  My son told me that he was the youngest of the group to interview for the position and he was less qualified then some of the others.  I was praying that God give him favor and praying that God’s will be done.  The Lord’s Prayer says…thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Since God has a plan for our lives and he has had it from the foundation of the earth, (5) I pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Well, long story short, he got the job!  Praise God!

I started thinking about this.  His answer was yes. Sometimes, His answer is no.  How did I feel about that?  It started to change my attitude about prayer. (6) Prayer should be a conversation that I have with God and (7) I should praise Him whether the answer is “yes” or “no”.

We are family! We have brothers and sisters in Christ.  He is our Father.  We can be in relationship with Him.  We can have conversation with Him.  He will talk to us and we can talk to Him.  We can know Him as He knows us.  He knows our personality and what is best for us.

 I try to walk with him daily. Some days I sit in His lap and kiss His cheek. Some days I pout a little and I am distant.  Some days I ask Him for things and other days I just tell Him how much I love and appreciate Him in my life. I trust Him. He is my Father God, Daddy, Papa. He knows best. He has my back. I trust Him.  

Sometimes he says “yes” and sometimes He says “no.”  Because I have a relationship with Him, I trust Him. I really do trust Him.

Living Loved (by an awesome Father),

Sammie

Psalm 44:21 …wouldn’t God find out since He knows the secrets of the heart?  Matthew 6:8 He knoweth what things I have need of before I ask Him.  NIV

HAS OUR PRIDE BEEN WORTH IT?

 I live in the bible belt, USA.  Good Godly people live in this part of the country.  Busy people doing God's work. I was raised here and have lived here for my whole life. Fifty eight years to be exact. I was raised in church. So, please hear me. I'm not blaming anyone. I love the people in my community and this part of the country. This is just my journey, my questions, and observations.

 I have believed in God all my life and believe that Jesus saved me as an adolescent.  I just always felt like there was more. Something was missing in my own life. This started a quest for me, I said, "God if you're real (and I know you are) then show me,"  I wanted a life that bore the fruit of  Jesus.

The first thing that Holy Spirit started showing me was just how much God loved me. I knew the scripture, "For God so loved the world..." and that Jesus came to save my soul so that I could spend eternity with Him. But, I never fathomed the height and depth of His love for me.  How He actually created me to spend time with Him. That He desired to spend time with me and wanted me to fellowship with Him on a daily basis. ...never did it really register that He had a plan for my life and the most important part of that plan was for me to have a relationship with Him. There it was the treasure that He wanted to show me...He wanted an earthly relationship with me. Not just for eternity, but for here on this earth!

The scripture says in Matthew 7,  9 So I say to you: Keep asking, and it will be given you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you, 10 because everyone who keeps asking will receive, and the person who keeps searching will find, and the person who keeps knocking will have the door opened.

 As I searched He revealed this precious nugget that changed my life forever...religion alone produces a life of duty and obligation, dos and don'ts,  Hard work that just never brings fulfillment. You're tired, worn out, and never feel like you can measure up or deserve God's love. You read about it, but it doesn't seem real. A life lived in relationship with a Loving Father produces His Spirit, joy, love, peace, contentment. You are able to have relationship with Him and others around you that is productive and fulfilling. Religion is a cup half full. I want a full cup. His fullness...is a cup running over. No wonder Jesus didn't get along with the Scribes and Pharisees! They just couldn't understand what he was trying to show them. He walked in relationship every day of His life. Relationship with His Father and in relationship with those that he came in contact with.

 If I could redo anything in my life, I would like to have had a closer relationship with Jesus so that  I could have raised my children with more of a focus on relationship with Him and caring more for others. Our own hopes and dreams are important but should never be more important than the needs of hurting people around us. I raised my children in church but  I didn't raise them to be sensitive to how much God wanted a relationship with them and how important it was to care about the needs of others. I wanted my children to have nice clothes, be polite, excel in sports, good in school...the list goes on and there is nothing wrong with that.  I wanted them to go to church, have good manners, and treat others with respect.  My focus was all external. I cared way too much about how things looked.  God looks inwardly at our heart. It didn't really dawn on me that I was raising them to want more things when I should have been raising them to love Jesus with all their hearts. I love my children and grandchildren. They are great kids.  Only saying...if I could do it again.

A relationship with Father God. What does that mean? Does it mean for me to love Him above everything and everyone in my life and to care about the needs of those around me as much as I do my own needs? I think it does.  If I do that would I really worry about what kind of house I live in?  Or car I drive? Would I care what color you are? or how much  money you make?   My son and I were having a conversation the other day about how he heard that a pastor stepped on a few toes when he expressed a concern about this same topic in his sermon.  My son said that he said to the congregation something along the line of that we might not need that expensive boat or that so on and so on. His implications were that our money might need to be put on something more in tune with the Kingdom of God. God says that one tenth of what we earn should go to Him. That is what we owe to be good stewards of this earth. So I'm not talking about that. But, I'm talking more about the condition of our heart. Having a heart to give and not receive all the time. Giving my own money, time, and talents to serve others.

I am so concerned about America. I care deeply for this country. It is where My father God saw fit for me to live and raise my family. I appreciate all the great men and women that came before me to make this a great nation.  I am grateful for the ones that fought to protect me, my family, and this land that we call home.  Have we forgotten who gave it to us? Have we left Him out of our families and schools? Is He any longer a part of our lives?  This is the land of prosperity.  Have we taken this prosperity for granted?  I don't believe that he gave us prosperity to see how "fat and happy" we can become. We have become overindulgent in every area of our lives.  I think we have become wasteful, greedy, uncaring, unloving, and many times have cared only about our four and no more! We have forgotten what God has done for us. He is no longer in the forefront of our homes, schools, businesses, government, or our hearts.

 Do we really think that our purpose on this earth is self-edification, self-indulgence, and self-satisfaction.  Self, self, self.  I believe that there are many things that my country and I need to repent of. We are guilty of murdering our babies and becoming full of pride and arrogance. Our forefathers knew that our country could only stand by the Grace of God and they built this nation on the sound fundamental of "In God We Trust!"

Haggai 1 seems very fitting for us today.

³ Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: ⁴ “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?”

⁵ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

⁷ This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. ⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house which remains a ruin while each of you is busy with your own house. ¹⁰ Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. ¹¹ I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.”

Is ISIS our real problem?  I don't think so.  I think our nation needs to humbly repent of all its wrongdoings, of its pride and arrogance, and ask Him to not turn His face from us. We need His protection but more importantly, we need Him. We need to return to our first love of Him and seek that relationship that He so desires with us.  I humbly pray for that.

Father, I ask for forgiveness in my own life.  Please forgive me for my pride...to think that I could ever be a good daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, friend, citizen, leader, without submitting to you. Thank you for your loving grace and mercy in my life. I love you!

Living Loved

I have't blogged lately because a lot has been going on. So, I won't apologize for being all over the place.  It's just how I feel.

As I watch the little birds on my back porch every morning, I realize that I need to become a lot like they are. Every morning they are the same...they come out with a beautiful song of praise... not a care in the world.  They tweet, eat, fly around...totally content to do the same thing each day.  They don't worry about how they look, or how they sound, or what they are going to eat.  They just know! I think they just know that they are loved by their maker. As the scripture says , Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. Luke 12:29.

I just shared my 40th class reunion with my classmates. It was the best one we have had.  We road in the parade downtown on a float, took a trip to our old swimming hole (while still riding on the float), took pictures, talked and talked some more.  We attended the homecoming football game and we won! Whoopee! It didn't matter if we had of won or not, all we went to the game for was to be together and talk.  At the game we honored several of our beloved classmates that were no longer with us. We remembered them as the Class of '75 football players. We cheerleaders stood on the sidelines to watch intently as we had always done in years past cheering them on (even if it was only in our hearts.)  We all got together on Saturday for a good "ole" country meal of barbecue, pulled out the lawn chairs, and sat outside and reminisced. We talked about our fun days in school. Some stories I remembered, some I was "smack dab" in the middle of, and some stories were heard for the first time. There was one thing that was so evident to me during our weekend together.  It didn't matter who did what in school, who was popular and who was not, or who lived in town or who had to ride 30 minutes to school on a dirt road. We were classmates. Vernon classmates of 1975. The ground was level, no pretenses, we all cared deeply for each other.  I wrote on my face book page after it was all over "we enjoyed friends, fellowship and favor from out loving Father God." It was a very special weekend.

Sunday afternoon we curled up exhausted from our busy weekend to watch a movie on our faithful, Netflix.  Greg came across Ragamuffin written and directed by David Schultz. It is about Rich Mullins a  Contemporary Christian Songwriter and Musician and his life. He asked me if I wanted to watch this. It looked interesting enough.  The movie was dark and depressing because of the demons that Mullins faced.  The constant struggle of not being accepted or loved by his father. After years and years of struggling a friend wanted him to listen to a tape that he had from a pastor. The man on the tape said, "I am utterly convinced that on Judgement Day the Lord Jesus will ask only one question, "Did you believe that I loved you?"  That I desired you?  That I waited for you day after day?  That I longed to hear the sound of your voice?" He went on to say that this will define a real believer from the marginal believer.  The religious christian will go on doing their services but never really believe that they are loved by their Father God. My husband and I were so touched by his words. Something else that he said that was worth writing down was, "you are only as big as your own concept of God." The words spoken in the movie were probably from Brennan Manning and Ragamuffin Gospel Quotes. Wow! How powerful! Lord, please remove all the stumbling blocks in my mind that hinder my perception of you and how much you love me

Tuesday morning I was making table decorations for my sister's birthday party when I received the phone call that you pray that you will never receive...ever!!!  Frantically, my daughter said that there had been a car wreck and my youngest granddaughter was in the accident. "Hurry," she said, come to the emergency room. Earlier that day I had read Psalm 91 about God's protection over us, but at that moment, my heart felt like it stopped beating and the lump in my throat grew so large that I felt like I would choke... I began to pray. A small ray of hope flooded my soul when I heard her say through streams of emotion, "my little baby was protected by angels." I am so grateful for my sister and brother-in-law that hurriedly came to be with me while we waited for so many hours at the emergency room.  My loving husband came as soon as he heard when he got off work. We prayed as we watched the mom and dad of the little girl pace back and forth pleading for some information...just any information, but they didn't receive any for hours. Finally, we got some news. It was not good news.  We found out that my granddaughter's precious best friend that was in the back seat with her, was killed and had never made it to the emergency room.  As my daughter had told me hours earlier, my little granddaughter was doing alright.  In my mind I couldn't help but ask the question, "How can one little girl be spared and the other perish when both were in the back seat and both had their seat belts on?" " How could the driver of the car be so negligent, and after being thrown out of the vehicle receive only minor injuries?"  I received no answer, but in my Spirit I knew that God was in control.  There are no accident's and as my sweet nephew-in-law prayed with me the next day said, "there is nothing that happens out of His jurisdiction."  I pray for everyone involved, but especially for little Ana's family. Although, I know that now they can only feel loss and pain but through time I pray that they will draw close to the only one that truly loves them and has a plan for their life.  I pray for my granddaughter and her loss of a best friend and going through such a traumatic experience.  I pray that her Father God will show her how he is the best friend she could ever have.  I pray for my daughter and for her friend that drove the car.  They both made very poor choices and there will be consequences for those choices. I pray that they will come to know the love of  Father God and his tender loving mercies.

  I entitled this blog Living Loved because that has become one of my favorite sayings. It is two small simple words but means the world to the believer. For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son.. because of Jesus and my Father God's great love for me, I am living this life loved. I know how much He desires me. How He waits every day for me to talk to him. He loves the sound of my voice and He loves everything about me.  He isn't disappointed in me.  He knew the things I would do and the things I would not do. All I have to do is simply love Him with my whole heart in return.

Even if things don't turn out like I think they are suppose to...I am still loved!

139 O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. 2 You know when I sit or stand. When far away you know my every thought. 3 You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. 4 You know what I am going to say before I even say it.5 You both precede and follow me and place your hand of blessing on my head.

6 This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe! 7 I can never be lost to your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! 8 If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there. 9 If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your strength will support me. 11 If I try to hide in the darkness, the night becomes light around me. 12 For even darkness cannot hide from God; to you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit them together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it. 15 You were there while I was being formed in utter seclusion! 16 You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!

17-18 How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me.[a] And when I waken in the morning, you are still thinking of me!

So, each day, like the little sparrows, I can wake up and thank Him for this beautiful day that he has made.  I can thank Him for His daily bread and praise Him that I am wonderfully made.

Psalm 139 Living Bible 

We are so loved by our Father God!
sammie jean

WHAT COLOR IS LOVE?

Around 14 years ago my life changed dramatically.  I was going to have my first grandchild.  Wonderful!  But, it was going to be a mixed child, black and white.  My religion or spirituality, if you call it that, went out of the window fast! What about my reputation?  I cried out, “Lord you know that I have been raised in a small town where everyone knows everything about everyone. “You know the mindset of people around here?” “What will they think about me, my family?”  “Races just don’t mix.” Growing up in a small town in the 60’s I had friends that were black, but lines were still drawn in the sand (unspoken at least), friendship was one thing but marriage was entirely a different issue altogether. This was 2001, but things were still not that different.  As I continued to cry out to him, as always, Holy Spirit came and comforted my soul. Here is part of a song that I wrote that night.  You are the lover of my soul. You are the lifter of my head.  You’re a safe place I can rest. I trust in you. And I did. And I have. And I continue to. He changed my heart.

He was born. The prettiest little boy you have ever seen, one deep dimple, beautiful tan skin. He captured my heart. God started to work on me. He opened my eyes to many things; bad attitudes, stereotypes, and prejudices, that had been ingrained deep into my very being…a whole lot of stinkin'-thinkin'!

I started writing a children’s book around that time. All these years, I have just left it on the shelf. I’ve pulled it out many times.  Reflected on it, and then put it back.  But, since my retirement I have really taken time to pray about it and think about what I  need to do with it.  I want to share this children’s picture book with you entitled, “What Color Is Love?”  It is dedicated to my precious grandchildren, with an acknowledgement, to the one that loves us all the same…regardless of our skin color.

THE SUN SHONE BRIGHTLY ON                                                    

 THE DAY I WAS BORN,                                     

THE BIRDS SANG SO SWEET

IN THE TREES

ALL AROUND ME WAS THE                                             

CREATION OF GOD

 AND THE WORLD WAS

 A GREAT PLACE TO BE

I LEARNED TO DANCE TO THE

MUSIC I COULD HEAR

AND SING MANY MELODIES

AND TUNES

But, then something happened…

The music was unclear

Someone told me I wasn’t

the right hue

“I’m not the right color?”

I asked myself

"How can that be?"

I look like my mommy

and I look like my dad                                     

What color am I suppose

 to be?

"Dear God?"  I asked as I looked in

 His eyes, there a tear I could see

“Do you like my color?" He replied with a smile,

“WHAT I SEE IS A REFLECTION OF ME”

I was content with His answer

But pondered this thought…

Would I ever live in a world

 Where color is not what we see?

But yet when we look on

The face of our brother

There God’s reflection will be

And the music will once again make us dance

And the "new song" that we hear,  set us free

  Because,                                                                                

When we look on the face of our

brother and sister

ONLY THE COLOR OF LOVE WE'LL SEE

Hope that one day this little book can be published.  Please pray with me that I find an illustrator that has the same vision as I do to illustrate the pictures. My prayer is that one day we will live in a world where “color is not what we see.” My prayer is the same as Martin Luther King, Jr., “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”

Father, I pray this same prayer today across this nation.

    Open our eyes…
sammie jean

Our grandchildren 2009