I know how Dorothy must have felt in the middle of the twister. Whew! My sister and I recently returned from a trip to New York. I have often thought that I would like to teach in the inner cities of NY.  But, this trip was strictly to sight-see and enjoy the landmarks with friends; The Statue of Liberty, the 911 Memorial, Grand Central Station, Time Square, Brooklyn Bridge, and on and on...they are spectacular. All of it was great to see but it wasn't what pulled at my heart strings the most. It was all those that were begging for money and sleeping on the sidewalks with only the clothes on their backs. It was all the hundreds of thousands of people that walked the streets, rode the subways, and waited for hours on a ferry to get home from work that made a lasting impression on me. So many of them have no earthly idea of who Jesus is and how much God loves them.They are frantically striving for something that will be of no use to them in the end. It is heart breaking. So it was hard for me to just enjoy the sights and sounds of the city. Oh yeah, so let me backtrack a little to the beginning of our trip. We had just arrived at the airport and was checking in when my sister could not find her driver's license. To say we panicked is an understatement. I honestly saw the trip flash before my eyes without her. I started to think of a plan. I asked the lady that was helping us "Will you take a copy of her drivers license?" Thinking if she left them home we could get someone to send a picture of it. Hallelujah! She finally found them. So all was well. As I said before, we were with a group of friends and supposedly all had the same ticket schedules. Well, we all started to board the plane when a "beep beep" went off on mine and my sisters tickets revealing that we had missed our plane one hour previously. We never dreamed that the others held tickets with different boarding times than ours. Lesson learned, always check your tickets. Never assume anything. The man at the desk said, "You are two lucky ladies." As he explained that he found two seats on the flight with our friends. I said, "No we're not lucky we are blessed."  Although it was a great trip overall, I came home a little drained; physically and emotionally. I arrived at my mothers home in time to enjoy my grandson's football game. They hadn't been winning, truthfully they hadn't even been playing very well. Anyway, it was the big game. Our team against the county rival. I prayed. Lord, please help them play a good game. The previous game they had played was really bad. My prayers were answered. We played wonderful. It was like a new team. The score was close and both teams played very well. We were into the 3rd quarter. My grandson ran the ball, making good yardage only to be tackled by several boys pretty hard. As he got up and started walking to the sideline, he appeared to be stumbling and making motions that something was wrong. They quickly started taking off his helmet and pads and everyone rushed around to aid him. My daughter went hysterical. I sat still on the bench. My insides were screaming though! I eventually scooted away from the crowd beside the bleachers to pace and pray. Having had a son that played sports too, it was a familiar place for me to be. Who would have ever thought we would be rushing him off to the hospital in an ambulance. Long story, short all x-rays revealed normalcy in brain, ribs, and hand. Praise God. As I think about it all... maybe God is just trying to stretch me.  I jokingly told my sister that while we were in NY.  But, looking back in hindsight, there just might be something to that.  A whole lot can happen in one week. This morning, back home safe and sound in my own little quiet surroundings, I thought of this song that Holy Spirit gave me years ago. It is just as true today.

Take me to the place
where love abounds
take me to the place
where I'm safe and sound
in the river of your love
no strife is there
in the river of your love
 perfect peace is where

take me to the place...

There's a whole lot of sadness in this world; the cares might toss me around. I might lose my way at times. My focus not on point.
But, thank you Father God, if I will just stop and listen...you always quieten my soul 💝

sammie jean

"Behold, I extend peace to her like a river..." Isaiah 66:12

Talogia Creek that runs on the edge of our property

His love...

       And then there it was. A little red cabin. Hidden from others to find. A diamond in the rough. Way back in the woods in the Carolina mountains 🌄  A dream of ours. One morning I got on the computer, months ago, as I so often do to blog. The first thing that popped up on the screen in front of me was a cabin in North Carolina on Red Bird Road. My husband and I had been searching the real estate market for almost a year.  I looked through the house; fireplace ✔, front porch ✔, rustic looking ✔, on an acre of land ✔; I remember getting a little excited about it; "it was a good find." Thought about it most of the summer. Finally, in August a home came open to rent at a reasonable rate and it was possible for us to go to North Carolina for three weeks. While there, we planned on looking at homes that we had found that were interesting enough. In preparation to go, we made a list of homes we wanted to see. The cabin on Red Bird Road continued to be at the top of our list. Our first week there, we went with a realtor for three days, looking at approximately 12 homes in the Franklin, North Carolina area. We really liked that little town. However, none of the homes had that "wow" factor or I should say none of them spoke to our hearts. We agreed ahead of time that it would happen to both of us when we saw the one we were suppose to have. It wasn't until 13 days later that we were able to finally see the cabin on Red Bird Road in Hayesville. To get to the cabin, your first turn is on Vineyard Road. I absolutely love that for so many reasons. When I lived alone with my son for almost 11 years before I remarried, I decorated our home in grapes and grapevine paraphernalia. I had a large mural on the wall in the living room; an old wine press; wine bottles, grapes,...all symbolic of God's presence in our lives.  I am the vine and you are the branches, abide in me, spoke to my heart in a very special way during those years; for Him abiding in me and me abiding in Him became the most important thing to me. As we turned down Vineyard Road, I teared up as Holy Spirit reminded me of what He had done in my life, some 19 years ago. We continued down a country road, winding and turning, around curves and up hills, vineyards along the way, cows in the pasture at the foothills of the mountains. So picturesque. And then there it was. Red Bird Road. A little red cabin. What symbolism for us. I wish I just knew how many times we sat on our back porch in Chipley and watched the red birds as they flew in to eat from our back yard feeder. Our grandchildren even took pictures of them to enter in the local youth fair and won first place for their photography. They were the most brilliant red I have ever seen. We were very fond of them...to say the least. Walking around the property, we found an old cement picnic table; laden with moss. Thought it was a little strange but didn't think too much about it.  It was just like the one across the road from my house at the wayside park near the creek growing up. I can't tell you how many times I have eaten on a cement picnic table just like that one; birthday parties, cheer leading parties, class parties, reunions. It was the go-to place for all our get together events from childhood all the way through high school. We were so excited about the cabin that we invited dear friends to come to look at it with us. Looking closely, we started putting two and two together; we discovered that it must had been a camp ground many years ago. The land was still terraced and rocks strategically placed in certain areas.Someone had labored long and hard to create this scene. I could envision mothers and daddy's playing with their children and could almost hear the children laughing as they played chase around the campsite. What sweet memories they must have made there. I think that it's the neatest thing that God wants us to have this piece of property. He saved it just for us; for over four years this couple has had it for sale off and on. No buyers. How awesome to me that God so intricately wove threads of our past together just to remind us of how much He loves us. How much He has always loved us. Oh my 💓 Couldn't help but think about the beautiful star of Bethlehem that God placed in the heavens the night of Jesus' birth.✦ A sign of His love for all mankind to see. Of course, the symbolism on this property dulls in comparison to the birth of the greatest gift I will ever know.  But, in our personal life, He once again let us know...that the "small stuff " matters to Him 🐦

thank you for loving us
sammie jean

Picture taken by our grandson in our backyard in Chipley, Florida.

i remember...

I remember going to the Smoky Mountains with my parents and sister growing up. I can still see all the fog as it settled on top of the mountain early in the morning. I hear my daddy say, "That smoke is  from all those smoked hams they're smoking." Of course I believed every word of it. I loved those 

hams. Not as much as he did though. Daddy always bought one or several to bring home with us. We all loved grits and eggs, mamas homemade biscuits, country ham and red-eyed gravy for breakfast. Oh my, what a Saturday morning feast! Nothing better. We continued the tradition of enjoying the mountains with our children. I remember staying with a couple of friends and sitting on their back porch enjoying the view of the Blue Ridge Mountain range. And just wishing. Not sure when I started dreaming about a home in the mountains; might have been as a child or not until I was older. Every since I can remember I have always wanted a home there. Sixty years old now, retired, and oh so much water under the bridge. It seems like that was a lifetime ago. Those dreams. For really it was. Nine years ago we started over. My husband and I. Now it's our dream. We have returned to the mountains of North Carolina. So different this time. For this time, we really are in search for the home that has been in my dreams for all those years. It's pretty neat how we were in the mountains a year ago when our house sold. That was the first step toward our dreams coming true. I just know God has that perfect little place for us. The one that he has had all along. The home that will bring us and our family and family to come; many, many, years of enjoyment. A place of peace. A place where the Spirit of Lord is present. A place that says to our heart, "you're home" ❤️

Music

 It's been a long time since I sat in a lawn chair and listened to gospel music. We did that last night. I was instantly transported to the 70's at least 45 years ago, on the football field of a nearby town that I grew up in; lawn chairs all over the field, picnic baskets full of chicken and potato salad, quilts thrown on the ground for the babies, songs of Jesus filling the air. It took me back to my roots. Or I should say my foundation.  I absolutely loved those all night gospel sings. I looked forward to them every year. It was another time that my sister let me tag-along. She went with her friends and their families. I think I was actually a nuisance to her at times but she deeply cared about my salvation. She wasn't selfish at all when it came to sharing Jesus with me. She wanted me right there enjoying His presence too. Music has changed for me over the years. What God has done in my life through music, hasn't.  Around 1986 I started going to a different church. The music was different than any I had heard before. My collection of songs up until that time consisted of gospel and hymns, growing up in a Methodist Church. The music was different than any I had heard before. It was slower. Less instruments; piano, drums, maybe a guitar. It was more like a love song. It wasn't the music though, it was the lyrics that gripped my heart. On my first visit I remembered singing, as the dear pants for the water, oh my soul longs for you. you along are my one desire and I long to worship you. I had never sang scripture before and as I sang Holy Spirit seemed to penetrate my very heart. I realized that I wasn't singing about God anymore but I was singing directly to Him. It was like no one else was in the room. Just He and I. Simple, intimate, worship songs are still my favorite. Stripped down. Simply powerful. The music is beautiful, there is no doubt. I think it's our heart that He's most interested in. This past Sunday a well known gospel music singer/songwriter came to our church.  He led worship. I heard some good "ole" gospel tunes once again. Songs that you just can't sit still and listen to. You have to clap your hands, tap your foot, or play a tambourine (if you have one.) It's just that kind of music. He had written thousands of songs for well-known gospel groups. I listened to him as he spoke from his heart. He explained how all that had changed for him over the years.  He stated that he had even changed some of the lyrics to his songs; the arrangements. A simpler style. It was not about performance, or about how well he could sing (which he could) but it was about true worship. Holy Spirit was definitely there. I have always loved these lyrics by Matt Redman; when the music fades, all is stripped away and I simply come. Longing just to bring something that's of worth, that will bless your heart. I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required. You search much deeper within, through the way things appear, you're looking into my heart. I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about you Lord Jesus, it's all about you. It's still as fresh today as it was twenty something years ago when I heard Holy Spirit say, "I have created in you a heart of worship... teach others." How in the world do you do that?  I immediately felt led to go to the scripture, an hour is coming, and now is, when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. Can't say I totally understood then. Can't say that I understand much better today. I do know that, I see in a mirror dimly...I know in part thus I have moved a little closer in understanding then I did yesterday. I do know that I am in pursuit of Him...not the music. If you are reading this blog you will probably agree with me, that over the years, like the well known singer/song writer said, we have chased many things; jobs, opportunities, prestige, popularity...but at the end of the day the most important thing is...I am nothing without you, Lord Jesus.

sammie jean

God's Heart (adoption)

  they

seemed to have

 come out of

nowhere

  emptiness

in their hearts

  loneliness

in their eyes

they needed

 us

we wanted

 them

God's plan

  all along

He knew our

  hearts desire

He joined us

 together

our spirits

 became one

a bond like

 no other

love

 indescribable

 joy 

  unexplainable

fullness 

   has come...

we are

    complete

With love, 

Aunt Sammie

Written for my niece, nephew (in love) and family on their special "love is forever" day 💑

July 14, 2017

Granddaughter...you are salt and light to me

Thought of my granddaughter and her courage this morning while getting ready to go to a baby shower. I only "kinda" know a hand full of people at our new church, so I was feeling a little insecure about going without my husband. I know that I rely on him like that. I realize that growing up in a small town where you are known almost your whole life by most people there is pretty easy. I took that for granted (a little.) Trying hard to step out of my comfort zone, I wanted to go to the shower. Celebrations are important. My granddaughter stayed a week with us and went to bible school in the church that we just started attending. She walked into the church where she didn't know a soul. She also was the only little child with natural brown skin. Everyone made her feel welcomed. She was a little hesitant at first but was a champ. "If she can do it then I can do it," I said. I put on my big girl panties and I went. During her week with ammie and pawpaw we tried hard to spoil her; swimming and fishing, cooking what she liked, reading a little while lying in the hammock, making frozen Oreo pops, playing a game or two of badminton, going to the movie. Our eyes were on her. I've been thinking a lot about her since that week. I can remember going with her mama for a sonogram before she was born. The worried look on the doctors face frightened me. I watched intently as he measured her length on the screen. "She is not growing properly," he said. And to add to the fear, she came early, weighing less than a 5 pound bag of sugar. She affectionately looked like a little "drowned rat."  Before she was a year old she and her brothers came to live with me for a while. I remember her mama handing me a piece of paper with the directions for her formula and the amount of medicine to give her if she got sick. She wasn't walking yet and scooted around on her backside rather than crawl on her knees. I always said she was smart. She figured out how to spare her knees on that hard linoleum floor in her house. The night that all three children, her and her two brothers and I, felt totally broken to pieces is branded in my memory. I took their little hands forming a circle, outside the building where we were and prayed. I don't remember what I said. We cried out in desperation that night. I can still see that sweet child, not much older than two, as she jumped from her seat into the aisle during mine and her pawpaws wedding and began to twirl and twirl with arms opened wide. No inhibitions; just pure, open, honest, worship. Just two years ago, my granddaughter was in a fatal car accident where her best friend was killed. She undid her seat belt in the backseat, while turned upside down, slid out the window and called her mama on the cell phone that she had given her just minutes before, all after hearing her dear friend take her last breath. I have no words. God knows what He is doing. I have no earthly idea. You're a strong little girl, granddaughter. You have been since you were conceived. Father God knew you then and He knows you now. He has seen every tear and heard every cry. He holds them in His bottles. I remember the Wednesday night, right smack dab in the middle of worship, Holy Spirit spoke into my heart, "I will be faithful to your grandchildren." Thank you Father. You have been...I know you always will be. Dear granddaughter you are brave, you are an inspiration, your little light shines brightly ❤️

I love you always and forever,

ammie

Sweet Memories

He was one of the first people that I met at the new church. I don't know if I noticed him because of his white hair or because of his gentle, kind spirit.  He reminded me so of my poppy. My poppy was a humble man too. I heard that he wasn't always that way when he was younger. That's how I knew him though.  I remember when I was a little girl I spent the night with them, him and granny. Probably not that often. But, I remember when I did. Poppy sat in his recliner. Ate ice cream at night. Ate chocolate syrup and biscuit for breakfast. Played with his little black and white bulldog named Shorty. Didn't talk a lot. He was so sweet to me. Granny was always busy. She was a great cook; known for her peas and cornbread.  I went to church a lot with them.  Granny and Poppy were of the Pentecostal faith. I went to the Methodist church. It was different. So I very well remember going to church with them. The church was small and old. A lot of wooden planks and pews. Just like the little white churches you see in magazines. I remember them singing. They sang a lot. A whole lot. People clapped their hands, played tambourines. People just called out page numbers for their favorite hymns. I remember poppy doing that a lot. I wish I could remember his favorite song. He loved to sing. He sang loud. He might have even led the singing. He prayed out loud too. He seemed to be louder at church. I also remember the altar call at the end of the messages when the pastor asked people to come to the altar if they wanted Jesus in their life. I remember asking granny one time if I could go to the altar when I was very young. Of course she said yes. Seeing this white haired man at church just reminded me of my poppy. It's not that he looks that much like him. So I'm not sure what it is. If it's his white hair or his demeanor in church. He is an elder in the church and you can tell he is very respected. I bet my poppy was an elder too. When I would go visit granny and poppy I remember granny making me tea cakes. I loved them. Soft. White with just the perfect shade of golden brown on the underside. Sweet but not too sweet. Hers turned out to be kinda squared in shape, the best I can remember. My favorite cookie. Last night, was the end of our bible school for the kids. Everyone brought their favorite desserts. As I walked down the line filling my plate I came to a plate of cookies.  My husband said, "Those look like sugar cookies." I knew at a glance. I said, "no." "Those are old fashioned tea cakes." I was so excited. I picked one up and immediately flipped it over to see what it looked like on the other side. Looking for authenticity. There it was. It really was a tea cake. Perfect color, texture, and little brown ridges on the backside of it that were made from baking it on the cookie sheet. I took a bite while still standing in the line. I was immediately transformed to my granny's little kitchen. I could see the hot water heater in the corner. The kitchen table by the wall with the plastic table cloth on it, laden with pickles, jellies, and left over biscuit hoecake and bacon. The white cabinets. The wooden door with glass windows and skeleton lock on it that led out to the back porch. And just a slight faint smell of warm cinnamon. A plate of tea cakes on the counter waiting for me when I arrived. And Granny standing their with her apron tied around her with arms opened wide.  I almost cried. As I walked to the table to put my plate down, an older lady called me over to talk to her.  She wanted to tell me how when they built the church they all thought the stage was too large. She said, "You know what, the Lord knew all along that we needed one that large. He knew that we needed one for all the children in this community." She was overflowed with joy about the stage being full with precious children that had come to bible school. For some reason, I just decided to ask her. "Do you know who made those tea cakes?"  With a huge smile and sense of pride she said, "I did." I wasn't the least bit surprised either. I knew she was the wife of my white hair friend, my "new poppy." I had told my husband earlier about my fondness for the elderly man and overhearing my conversation with his wife, he leaned over and said, "I think you have just adopted new grandparents." With warm fuzzy's all over I giggled like a child. "Yes, my granny and poppy definitely live on," I said.