You're doing what????

There are a lot of things that I love about my first grade class and some things...well... There is nothing like their precious eyes looking up at me and asking, "Ms. Sammie is this right?" I mean, really. It's like their fragile little lives are in my hands. They are so innocent....most of the time. Then there are times when... it's like this..."How many times have I told you what to do?" I exclaim. And all I get is a blank stare. Or, I am not going to do it. Excuse me! What did you just say? Yes, I heard her correctly. She repeats, "I am not going to do this." I must admit that this is a new one for me. And then there are those times that there are so many adults in my classroom telling me how I can better help this child that I feel like a picture on the wall that lost its hook. Really. How can one little child get so much attention? I guess it's like the expression, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease." You know what I would really like to do? Spank a little bottom. "What in the world have I done?" I asked myself. In fact, I have asked myself that many times over the last few weeks. There I was just two months ago retired; lying in my hammock, soaking up the sun, listening to music... So when I told them that I would take this first grade class in January, I had no idea what I was doing. Not really. I felt somewhat confident of my 30 plus years in the classroom, but being in a new town, a new school, and not knowing a child's parent in my classroom, trumped that. I was a little intimidated to say the least. My confidence went out the window. Thank you, Jesus, for the few friends I have from church that work at the school. They have been my lifesaver. It was all too familiar that first day. I walked into my classroom and there were 32 eyes staring up at me. What am I going to do with them? Deja vu for sure. I remembered it all so well. There I was 29 years old, fresh out of college and planted right in the middle of a classroom full of 6 and 7 year old's. "What have I done?" I confessed. Eyes welling up and lips trembling. No teaching manual prepared me for it. Two months of internship didn't either. It's like having children of your own. You learn as you go. I started college the very next fall after graduating high school in 1975. Getting married the next year. I begged mama and daddy to let me go to school away from home. I yearned to go to Auburn. The only thing that I knew about the school was I went to cheering camp there. That's all I needed. I loved it. But because my daddy believed in supporting the local jr. college, I didn't get to go. I didn't have the GPA or test scores to get into a major university anyway, so it wouldn't have mattered either way. It was just one of those dreams. I really wanted to get away though. I wasn't ready to get married, but figured that I would. Sounds pretty silly now. But, that is how it was. Anyway, ready or not, we got married. I managed to muster up the energy to complete my AA degree after getting married though. School was history after that. Or at least for a little while. I got a job and several years after that was pregnant with our first child. Like a lot of things I have done, it didn't take me long to realize I had made a huge mistake by not completing my degree. Well, second thought, maybe it wasn't a mistake after all, because it gave me time to think about what I wanted to be when I grew up. At the age of 25 it was high time I decided. Elementary education it was. It seemed to be the best fit for me. No matter how hard I tried not to be a teacher because my mama, daddy, and my sister were teachers, I gave in. It was tough going back to school though; attempting to be a mom to a 3 year old, occasionally seeing my husband, working full time, and driving 40 miles (one way) to classes at night, and getting home around 11:00 to start all over again the next morning. This was my schedule three to four days a week. Thank the Lord for the weekends. Time to reboot and then start all over. For some strange reason, I have always chosen the hard way of doing things. I persevered however and less than two years received my degree. I cherish the picture we took that day of my graduation. My husband, me in my camp and gown holding our 5 year old daughter. What a huge accomplishment! As we made Valentine bags this week, a few days before the students brought in their treasures, once again a truck-load of memories came rushing in. I remembered saying the exact same thing way back then. "Now students, eyes on me. Fold your red paper in a hamburger fold," I said. "Now take your pencil and trace a half of a heart like this," I continued, demonstrating the process. Knowing it was very difficult for a 6 year old to see a symmetrical shape of a heart, I continued, "Now raise your hand if you need help." Just as I thought, half the class raised their hands. One thing I have noticed is that kids haven't changed that much. There he sat on the floor focused on his little bag of goodies. "Bobby," (not real name) he hollers all the way across the room at a student on the other side of the room, "Thank you, Sally for my valentine," he continues. "Thank you, Robert." He goes through every valentine in his bag and delivers a personal thank-you for every single one. Precious. Thirty-two years ago each child did the same thing. Isn't it funny how your life turns out? Mine is. The thing that I absolutely was not going to do for a career (not even one time) turns out I'm doing it twice. Don't ever say never. That's for sure. God always knew that I was going to be a teacher. So thankful that He is patient with us like that. Even though he probably shook His head at me and said, "Here she goes again." "That is one stubborn child." I'm still trying to figure it all out though. You would think after all these years I would know all there is to know about kids, teaching, the whole gamut. But, after going back to work after a short lived retirement, that isn't the case at all. I realize I know nothing...well, maybe just a couple of things. And even though I said it over and over, "I will never be a teacher," it was in my blood...destined to be. I wouldn't have traded it for the whole world then. And I still wouldn't. sammie jean

EVER BEEN “PLUMB” WORN OUT? Well I’m there!!!!! Hope to muster up enough energy to blog soon. sammie Jean