Cleaning Out The Clutter

I thought about it yesterday when our house was being inspected. The inspection was being done for the buyers of our house to make sure everything worked properly. It was thorough. He looked in every crook and cranny in our house. He told me it would feel invasive and he wasn't kidding. He opened every door, window, went on the roof and in the attic...the inspection passed.

As I started going through the things in my house I had several boxes close by;  a box for things I wanted to keep, a box of definite get rid of (I wondered why I still had them), and a lot of maybes.  As I looked through years of treasures, I took inventory.

We decided that we would sell our furniture because we didn't have room to store it and didn't want to have to move it a second time upon finding another house.  We didn't want to pay for storage either because after a while that can get expensive. So, we decided that the best option was to sell our furniture. There were a few items I couldn't part with. One was the chair that I had had recovered with a new fabric. The chair was my mothers favorite chair in the house that I grew up in. She would get up early every morning and have her cup of coffee and devotion in that chair by the big picture window in the living room, It was her prayer closet, I'm sure of. Secondly,  I looked at the hope chest at the foot of my bed in my bedroom. Mama and daddy got it for me when I was 16 years old.  I probably wanted it because I'm sentimental in that way. I hope, ponder, and think about things.  Growing up I didn't really put that much in it though. Some stainless steel pots and pans that mama and daddy bought for me from a man selling them at the school where mama taught and daddy was principal. I think I stored my cap and gown in it from high school and maybe a diploma or two. I even put a baby dress and maybe some shoes in it. I don't guess I "hoped"as much as I thought I would. It basically became a good storage place.

 All these years it has been a cedar chest to store my winter clothes in and I hadn't thought about it much.  But as I pondered what to sell and what not to sell it became a precious piece of furniture to me. It  had been in my life now for 43 years. Just like me, it had been through a few things. It was definitely a keeper. My first thought was, I'll give it to my granddaughter. I even explained to my granddaughter that I was going to give her a hope chest. She exclaimed, "What is a a hope chest?" So,  we had a small history lesson about the cedar chest, which was later referred to as a hope chest. I told her that as far back as the Pilgrims coming to America from England, they brought their valuables in a chest made of cedar. They made these chest and used cedar because it was a good, plentiful, wood and would keep bugs out. I think I enjoyed sharing that with her much more then she enjoyed hearing about it. However, a few days later, Holy Spirit tenderly told me that I should give it to my daughter first not my granddaughter. As He always does He started gently teaching me about the errors of my ways.

He took me back to the years when my daughter was growing up and I was much younger. My husband and I had not been married but three years and I was 22 years old. I wish that those times could have been happier times but they weren't. I was preoccupied with a lot of stuff so therefore, I never really made my daughter feel special and loved in the way that she needed to feel loved. I guess I didn't feel special either.  I was too absorbed with my own problems. I see now that you cannot give what you don't have to give. So for most of our lives we have had a lot of conflict and have blamed each other for way too many things.

 I always heard Oprah Winfrey say, "When you know better, you do better." So, that's what I did, I called her on the phone and asked her did she want my old hope chest. The first thing she said was, "Why are you giving it to me are you fixing to die?" I laughed and said, "Well you never know but I want you to have it." I could hear a twinkle in her voice as she said, "Yes, I want it." After all these years I think that she felt that she was special to me.

As I continued to clean out clutter, I uncovered a book that I bought for her in June of 1995, entitled "To My Daughter With Love." She was 16 years old. I wrote in it some back in those days but as days went on and hardships came I put it on the back burner. There it has stayed for 21 years. Now, was the time to brush the dust off of it and allow God to bring restoration of things that had been lost along the way. I sensed that He so wanted to do that for us.

The book is written in three parts;  about my mother, about myself, and about my daughter. I realized as I started writing again in the book that I wasn't the same person that I was 21 years ago. God was really up to something.

I spent hours talking to my mother about things in her past. Some things I could recollect and others I heard for the first time. For, in these hours I spent with her, I realized that it was all part of a journey to restore. Just like her old chair that I saved from our family home, I just needed to be healed of old hurts and disappointments with a fresh new love for her. So, it was a time for us to connect in a way that we had never done before. To get to know each other as adults. For many things had been said along the way that might should not have been said and many things had been left unsaid. It didn't seem to really matter any more. I forgave her, connecting with her as my mother was more important to me than all the disappointments in the past.  For I realized that some of the same feelings that my daughter had toward me, I had toward my mother. Like all daughters, I just wanted to be special to her and for her to look at me the way that only a mother and daughter look at each other. I'm sure she wanted the same.

So, I continued in the book beyond the pages about my mother, to the pages about me. It was hard. Very hard. Difficult to write about a person that I didn't know anymore. It's kinda funny in a way but I think that my procrastination was a good thing this time. God used my bad habit to tell this story in retrospect. He has a good sense of humor.  I could tell it now from a viewpoint of wisdom and of love for her that I never had before.

I'm still working on the book that I will soon give her and one day she can give it to her daughter. My hope and prayer for you is that you see your daughter as the beautiful, wonderful daughter that she is today...please don't wait until tomorrow to show her.

My Daughter

I didn't tell you I love you enough,
there wasn't that "mom/daughter sparkle" in my eye
 I  failed to appreciate
 the precious gift in my hand.

 I could only see my pain
it was easier to look the other way.
  I did not say what I needed to say

Realizing too late
time had slipped away
 love, joy, peace
was not our friend...
but, rather unforgivness had
crept in

Upon finding this book
laden with dust
Holy Spirit drew me close
I became remorseful for the fuss

Daughter, I cannot change the past
But I can embrace our days ahead
Father God show us
 your better way instead

Help us find the peace that we have not known
The joy that can only be found in you

Love that is undeniable
love that is unshakable
the love that only You can do

Daughter, I love you today and all our days to come

Mama
2017 (It's Our Year)

1979-2017

CHANGE CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL THING

On my recent visit to the Gulf of Mexico, of which I am very blessed to get to go often because my sister has a place close to the beach, I happened to notice a lot of changes; changes in the contour of the shoreline. As I walked, I noticed that I had to take different turns and twist, from the last time I was there. Careful to not get my tennis shoes wet as I walked a slightly different path, I saw that all the sea critters and bird life along the way continued to feel right at home. I was not the least disappointed in the view. Although there were changes, it was still as breathtakingly magnificent as always. Thinking about all the changes, I realized that the waves, currents, winds and tides had all played a  major role in sculpting this beautiful shoreline. The sand had shifted from one area to another area, once a dune, now only sand on the beach. I started to think about change and how it sometime occurred slowly and other times in a matter of minutes. The most recent hurricane, Hermine, stormed into the Gulf Coast leaving it's fury overnight. Although the shoreline was noticeably different, it was still remarkably beautiful and the ocean environment along with its habitat functioned in perfect harmony with one another.

The other day, I took my mother for an eye examination to schedule her cataract surgery.  We sat, and sat in the waiting room for two hours before finally my mother asked the receptionist, "Have you forgotten about me?" They finally called her back which took another hour or so. After finally leaving we had lunch at a nearby restaurant on the way home. As we walked into the restaurant to our table, it was very busy. We ordered and then we waited, and waited, and waited. The restaurant cleared out. The very nice waitress came to our table several times before finally telling us that she had talked to the cook and told us the reason for the long wait.  I asked mama, "Did you need a lesson in patience or did I need a lesson? We are definitely having one today. We laughed. She said, "I know I am not a patient person." Isn't it funny how even the smallest inconveniences do not go
unnoticed. They to have their purpose in our lives.

I was thinking about a recent conversation that my husband and I had with our grandson. We were in the car on the way to a football game, so we had plenty of time to talk.. He started by saying, "I need your opinion about something." I held my breath. You never know what kind of question he is going to ask. He proceeded to tell us that he just received a text from a friend at school which is a girl and she told him that she couldn't talk to him at the game because her parents were going to be there. He said, "I don't understand, we talk at school all the time." Oh my... deep breath, I looked at my husband and he looked back at me. With our eyes we asked each other, "Are you going to answer this or do
you want me to?" I prayed, Lord give us the right words.  You see, our grandson is bi-racial. He is half black and half white. So I knew, that this was one of those talks that really count. We started to explain to him what it was like to grow up in this area and what it was like during segregation. We explained that we were just separated in everything we did in life. It was just how it was and no one thought about it differently.  We told him that it was extremely hard on both races to start going to school together. Change was very difficult on everyone. We explained to him that his generation did not experience this separation.  Trying hard to not incriminate her parents, we just told him, some people see that it is important to change the way that they think and others just don't see it.  To make a long story short, we assured him that he should be proud of who he is. It wasn't about him personally. or about her. We told him not to take this out on his friend because she is only a product of her families biases and it isn't her fault. We told him that the main thing that he should be concerned about was his character because in the long run that is what people will look at, not the
color of  your skin. (Lord, please make that statement truth.)

It made me think back about 15 years ago and how I felt when I first heard that my first grandchild was going to be biracial.  It was definitely like a tidal wave hit me. Like I told my grandson about his friends parents, I am a product of my upbringing with all its biases. I had and still have many too. But, one thing I knew was my life would be drastically different. It has been. It didn't happen overnight, but my life is much richer; it is defined by a different perspective, and a new understanding, one that I could have never had before. I can now see where all races, tribes, and
religions can come together to glorify the one true God. I need my brother and sister of every color. They enrich my life in a way that only they can do.

God so often uses nature to teach me a parallel about life. Our lives like the shore, never stay the same. Change is evident, We are constantly growing and changing and adjusting to something new that crosses our paths.  It is absolute that there are going to be changes, some appear to be small "interruptions" in our day and others are life changing, altering circumstances. No matter if it's large or small there is a lesson to be learned. And how well we adjust to these events will determine the
outcome.  If we learn all that we are suppose to learn, it can be a beautiful thing. Gods handiwork in all of nature is of a magnificent design. We are part of His glorious handiwork.

We are Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

Beach Trip with sister and mom October, 2016

I'm Not Bored, I'm just Resting...God's Perfect Rest Psalm 23

Retirement...what can I say?  When people ask me how I like retirement I feel like I have to say some grand statement like, "Oh I absolutely love it!"  Honestly, I am having to adjust to the whole thing. I'm not saying it isn't good but it takes a lot of getting use to. Someone asked me the other day what I have been up to and I replied, "Life is pretty simple and quiet right now. It can be a little boring at times, but you know boring isn't all bad." Sounds all philosophical doesn't it?

I started thinking about that statement. "It can be a little boring at times." In fact, I thought about it a whole lot because that is what I do. As I pondered, God changed my heart and He helped me see it in a different light. Yes, things are quiet, even a little mundane at times and I'm not busy travelling around the world. But on the flip side  I don't have to get up at 5:30 to get ready to go to work either.  I don't have a lot of appointments and busy schedules I have to keep. What He wanted me to see was: it's not about being busy or not being busy that makes this season so special...what makes it special is, it's the season of His rest, resting in His perfect plan for my life.  I have begun to see now how He has quietened my soul. He has quietened many of the voices around me. I can hear His voice more clearer and I think for the very first time in my life, I can actual hear my own voice. My authentic self. The self that God created me to be in the first place.

I just got through rereading a book entitled "Traveling Light" by Max Lucado.  I read it a long time ago but it just didn't click like it does today. I didn't realize all the baggage that I was carrying around. Some baggage of my own doing and some baggage from others whom I had allowed to drag me down. When I look back, I don't know how I was walking around. I was carrying suitcases of worry, fear, guilt, pride, loneliness, shame, envy, doubt, arrogance, disappointment, grief, discontentment, weariness...it makes me tired just naming them. To add to the list, I was caring way too much about what others thought of me. At times, more than what God thought of me.  Now I don't mean to imply that I am completely free of all these burdens but something is definitely different.

The thought came to me how for the first time in 37 years someone else was not depending on me. I mean really depending on me.  My kids are self sufficient. And my grandchildren are depending on their mom (and she has someone reliable that she can depend on) rather than depending on me. I can also see how they are starting to have a stronger relationship with God and depending more on Him.  I didn't realize how much baggage I was carrying around. Not only my own stuff that I have been dragging around since my childhood, but my children's and grandchildren's stuff too. All I can say is, " I Praise you Lord Jesus for lightening my load."

 God has a perfect plan...it just takes a little longer for some of us to see it. You definitely don't have to wait until you retire to experience it.  I have just a small nugget of advice; Surrender your life totally to your loving Heavenly Father and His perfect plan for your life. Don't argue with God about whether this is His will or not. He is sovereign. The song that I learned to sing in my valley experiences are His songs and they are the dearest to me. How could I ever question whether they were God's will or not when it was during this time that I learned the most about who He really is and who I am in Him.  Secondly, teach your children to depend on God. You can't fix everything for them and you wouldn't want to if you could. They should realize at a young age that He is their ultimate source in life. Even in their valley experiences they will learn to sing the song that He wants to teach them. It will be their favorite song for a lifetime.

I want to share with you Psalm 23 (NKJV)  His perfect rest.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake,

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For you are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil.
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Forever.

Thank you Lord for readjusting my attitude and showing me your goodness once more. Your perspective on every matter in my life is the right one, Thank you for showing me that "it's not boredom", it's your perfect rest...resting in knowing who you are.  It's the peace that passes all understanding.  So, when you ask me about retirement I might just reply, "I'm enjoying God's rest." There is nothing else in this world like it!

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN MY HOME

Thirteen seventy-six, my address for 14 years.  Funny how when I first realized that it was going to be my new address, insecurities flooded my mind.  I thought, I can't have an address with the unlucky number 13 and I sure can't have the number 76. That is the year I married only to end in a divorce.  Isn't it funny how thoughts like this enter your mind. That was my thoughts 14 years ago. But, I knew without a doubt that God had blessed me with the house at that address even if the numbers seemed a little ironic. I love how my Father God has a sense of humor.

It was funny how I thought about that after all these years, but what made me think of it was, I met with a realtor yesterday to finally put my house up for sale. I thought it wasn't going to happen. But, it did and wow what a huge step it was. After she left, memories flooded my mind. What a journey this has been...

  I divorced when I was 40 years old and had an 11 year old son. My daughter left for college that year. Because of the divorce, I sold the house that my husband and I had together and then the search began to find a new house to live in.  I looked frantically for years for a house to buy. There was always something not right with each one; they were too big, too small, too new, too old. The houses that were in-town were old and I was afraid that it would be difficult for a single person to keep an older home up. So, I searched out of town but then realized I was afraid to live too far out. So, until I could find something to buy, I rented.  My first new home was a trailer. I moved furniture from a 1700 square foot house to a single-wide trailer.  Interesting to say the least. A little tired of living in a trailer, I moved to a quaint little house. Old but very cute. Several things were wrong with it though, one it had an old gas heater that was very expensive and two the house was located on a major highway. My son always said that we lived in the pink house. Oh well, it had to do until other doors were opened. I continued to pray and wait, but I continued to search too.

Then, 5 years later, I got an unexpected phone call from a friend of mine that knew I had been looking for a house to buy.  I can still hear her voice today. "I think I know of the perfect house for you." Well, she was right. It was and it has been for 14 years. As always, God has the perfect plan for us if we just wait on Him.

God knew how many bedrooms that I needed.  He knew what neighborhood I needed to be in.  He knew what size lot I needed. He has always known. It could not have been more perfect. A newer house with vinyl siding (easy to take care of) and in town where I felt safe. .  He even threw in a few extra perks.  It was close to my son's school, where he spent so much of his time, actively involved in sports; football and baseball and about one mile from the school that I taught in for 31 years. So we moved into 1376 where we celebrated my son's 16th birthday.

My son and I enjoyed this house. He painted the walls of his bedroom the school colors of North Carolina, none other than Tar Hill blue and I filled the house with fruit of the Spirit decor.  The church gave us a housewarming and we annointed the door post with oil and dedicated it back to the Lord. I'm positive that guardian angels have always stood guard of our home.

I watched my son leave for college and I in turn went to get my three grandchildren all in the same day. I raised them in this house off and on for about a year. My granddaughter was not even a year old at the time.  God gave me a wonderful neighbor to help.  She so graciously helped babysit my grand kids for me during this difficult time. She understood what I was going through and she was there for me.  She prayed for me and my family.

Then seven years later. God gave me my husband. The perfect help-mate for me in so many more ways than I can share. ( And who knew he was a carpenter too.)  He added a back porch to the house.  A place where we could enjoy outside dining, cozy back yard fires, and early morning coffee and bird watching. We have lived in this house together for seven years. (A lot of sevens.) Yes and all by design.  The number seven means perfection. Maybe not perfection in outward appearance. But, total perfection in my heart and life.

I love this house.  I love all the memories that are in each room and even on the back porch.(I even love my hammock outside that inspired this blog)  I have cried and pleaded with God in this house.  I have laughed hard and loved much and I give everything that I am today back to my loving Father God. I give Him my exuberant joy and I give Him all the pain that helped me grow into the person that I am. He made it all happen. I give Him all praise, honor, and glory.

 It is time to move into the next chapter of my life. I have no idea what that is. I'm just doing what I feel He has put in my spirit; He is saying, "Step out and let go."  I trust Him. He has never let me down.

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

MY DADDY..."BIG SAM"

You know how certain words, like emotive words, sensory words, can conjure strong feelings inside of you, they elicit a distinct emotion? Some names do that too.  My daddy, Sam Mitchell, was one of those people. When you heard his name, you instantly had strong opinions about him, one way or the other. It was like that when he was living, and now that my daddy has passed away, it's still like that. You either loved him or hated him. I can still hear him speaking today. My son often tells me how he hears him too. Other people still talk about him... he lives on, his memory is still alive and well!

 What got me to start thinking about my daddy this morning, was someone I was talking to started talking about passion.  She judged people running for political offices by the amount of passion that they had for the office that they were pursuing. I agree a lot.  Passion is a great gift. I looked it up and it means a powerful compelling emotion or feeling. The word derives from 1125-75; MIddle English (Old French) Medieval Latin passion (stem of passio), Christ's sufferings on the cross, any of the Biblical accounts of these. Wow! That is the perfect example of passion. Nothing that we could ever do would come close to comparing to that. The definition that came to my mind before I looked it up was, to believe in someone or something so strongly that you are willing to die for it. That was my daddy. When people hear my daddy's name many things might come to mind; coach, principal, state legislator, entrepreneur. He wore many hats. 

 But, this blog is not about that. It's not about how many games he won, how many awards he was given, or how much money he had appropriated to Northwest Florida.  It's not about all his great accomplishments that were well-known, but about those accomplishments you might not know about.  I want to tell you about the man, that at times appeared to be bigger than life, and other times putty in your hand, this man with a heart of gold, was my daddy.

 He came up on a small farm, in a hard-working home, as most people did in the Florida Panhandle, during the depression years. They pretty much believed in three things, God, family, and hard work. He walked to school everyday over a rough terrain, lunch pail in hand; him and his three brothers, daddy the oldest. One of his brothers, my uncle, never missed one day of school from 1st through 12th grade. It was in those formative years that he developed a strong love for this part of the country where he grew up hunting and fishing, a passion that he pursued throughout his life. As daddy got older, he was recognized for his athletic ability and his talent in basketball. He went to college on a scholarship but it was never an easy road.  Him and mama (after they got married) made sandwiches every night and daddy went around the dorms and sold them to the students.  He also picked up their laundry. It was all part of his strong belief that you have to work hard for what you want. After college, he began to coach, basketball and football. Winning teams in both. It wasn't so much about winning the game as it was about the winning attitude that he instilled in the young boys that he coached. My husband, which was also coached by my daddy as a young boy, reminded me of the sign that hung in his office over his desk, "A winner never quits and a quitter never wins."  His attitude was, that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. Hard, hard work that paid-off over and over again. My daddy stood up for what was right, it didn't matter who he had to stand up to. I remember stories about when he was coaching during the early years of segregation. He had a black boy on his team. They would go to restaurants after the games and his young black athlete was told he couldn't eat at the restaurant.  My daddy told them point blank. "If he can't eat here, then none of us will eat here." Later he became principal at the same school where he had coached all those years.  He continued to pursue his passion for young people and continued to instill in them the winning attitude.  He did have strict ideas about dress codes. I remember hearing stories of how young men had to go get a hair cut because their hair was too long. Boys wore shirts tucked into their pants and had to wear socks with their shoes.  Girls got sent home for wearing dresses that were too short.  Daddy knew something that many of us didn't know. He knew that it was a tough world out there, and high school was just a training ground for adulthood.  Many tell stories of how big his paddle was and how hard he used it. I don't really think that he loved paddling that much. I think that he was just that passionate about young people and their futures.  I think many would tell him, "thank-you" today. Can you imagine what it was like to have a father like this? He was just as competitive with us girls; my sister and I.  I'll never forget the time when daddy was still coaching. He had a rope that hung from the ceiling of the gym that he used during gym classes. I remember him telling me, "Sammie Jean, climb that rope to the top and show these boys how it is done," he said. Well, after all, I was named after him and I was the little boy that he didn't have. So, I wasn't about to disappoint him.  Scared to death to go all the way to the top, I did it anyway. And just to show how good I was, I touched the ceiling when I got to the top of the rope. I came back down, with a huge smile of accomplishment on my face, as the boys clapped for me. My daddy had a reverse approach in motivating you. Not sure how it worked, but it definitely did. He knew exactly what to say to get results. Daddy ran for political office in the 1950's and was elected to serve in the Florida legislator at that time. I remember having little cards made with my picture and the slogan, "Vote For My Daddy" on it to hand out to people at political rallies. When I was young, people would tell me, "You act just like your daddy." Well, I didn't appreciate that as a child. But, as an adult looking back on my life and life growing up with this great man, I hope I have just some of the passion for life that he exhibited.  Daddy, after all these years, I would still ask people to, "vote for my daddy." You're definitely the best candidate! 

Daddy returned to Tallahassee and served many years in the Florida legislator. He was known as "Big Sam," in the capitol and all around this part of the country. Not only was he a large man in stature but he was a large man in everything that he did. His charisma was very contagious. Daddy was passionate about education, agriculture, wildlife, fisheries, you name it. He had a vast range of experience to bring to Tallahassee. I'm sure he wasn't the smartest man in the capitol but I would say that they would have a hard time finding anyone more dedicated, hard-working and passionate about the people in this area. He loved Northwest Florida. But, he would tell you, the greatest thing that he ever did was accept Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.  Daddy never told me the story but my brother-in-law did. He said that daddy told him how he prayed one day in the middle of  the creek while he was fishing. I could just hear my daddy out there in the middle of the creek in his boat, just him and Father God. That's a beautiful scene. He was doing what he loved to do, fish.  And his creator, the one that knew him best, came to him in the perfect place for them to have close communion that day, the creek. He said that he got saved that day. My daddy was not a "church goer" but He loved the Lord in the way that he knew how; with a simple, childlike faith. Later on He told us that he just laid his cigars down and never picked them up again.  I can still hear his voice today recite the one verse of the bible that he knew by heart as he lay on the stretcher to be taken into heart surgery.  He said, to mama, my sister, and I, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that whosoever believed in Him would not perish but have everlasting life." He warmed our hearts, as the tears flowed that day in the hallway of the hospital. My daddy was a winner all the way to the very end.  My first grandson, his great grandson is bi-racial. His daddy is black. There was some tension in our family because of this, which is very understandable. Most of the strife came from the idea that races don't mix, (or that was how we were raised here).  Well, long story made short, after his heart surgery, he didn't do very well because of a very weak heart due to diabetes and other factors.  He had congestive heart failure. One night he said to me, "I want you to take me to Panama City to talk to my granddaughter and the babies daddy." I want to make things right with her and him. He didn't want to do it over the phone. That's how he was; hands-on, face to face, kind of guy. So, we did. I drove him to PC to see them. He did not want to leave this earth before he made things right with God and his granddaughter.  My daddy was willing to put prejudices, pride, and the way he was raised aside to do what was right for his family. Daddy, I don't know if I ever told you how much I appreciated you doing that. Words are so inadequate. But, I want to tell you now, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

It's true! My daddy was a dreamer. He dreamed big dreams. "If you don't stand for something, then you will fall for anything," he would say. You always knew where he stood, whether you liked it or not. You always knew. Like most people, my daddy doesn't have monuments made of stone. But, he has something far more important; countless numbers of grown adults that can testify to how much he impacted their lives in a positive way. I am one of those. Daddy wanted to write a book about his life. I agree daddy. It's a great story to tell. I hope that I hold in my hands, just a portion of the passion, perseverance, and possibility that you held in your hands. What a legacy you left for us to follow. I'm so proud of you! Thank you for teaching me that if I'm not willing to go all out for it, then it's not worth pursuing. You taught me that God, family, friends, and community are worth going "all out for." You said it best. "If you're going to do it...give it all you got." Thank you daddy!

I love you!

sammie jean

Daddy top left with brothers and grandparents

x

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

I often hear the expression, "April showers brings May flowers", but never has it had more meaning than this spring.  Flowers are beautiful. Gardens are growing. Baby birds are being born. And spring is definitely in the air. Spring has sprung...at my house and everywhere.

My friend has been posting gorgeous pictures of her garden on the computer. The flowers are beautiful. Such vibrant colors. Everywhere I go, I stop and stare at the flowers. They are astonishingly beautiful this spring. I've heard many people express that same opinion.  If I didn't know better, I would even think that I had a green thumb. My geranium  has grown all over my front porch and has bloomed red petals everywhere . I even had a man from across the street say something to my husband about how pretty it was.

Retirement has been good for my gardening.  I have a lot more time.  Like every living thing, plants just need a lot of tender loving care. Along with my flowers, I have about 10 tomatoes on two tomato plants.  I also planted a little herb garden too; peppermint, peppers, cilantro, basil and more tomatoes. Love those tomatoes. Can't wait to have a tomato sandwich with lots of mayo. Yum!

Talking about tomatoes, makes me think of the time when I was single, divorced,  my daddy knew how much I loved tomatoes, so he planted some for me in my backyard. The vine flourished and I had a lot of juicy red tomatoes to eat.  He was a good gardener, so he knew just what to do, The little bit I know about growing a garden I learned from watching him.  That daddy... he spoiled me like that.

Love how little birds make their nest and lay their eggs in your plant pot right on your porch or in your wreath hanging on the door this time of year.  We have a lot of birds at our bird feeder but this one little bird (don't know what kind it is) wakes me up every morning with her loud energetic singing. It is very happy. Not only happy but very hyper.  Mommy bird and daddy bird are constantly working; looking for a place for a nest, building a nest, sitting on the eggs, going to get a worm, and feeding their little birdies.  I wasn't sure there was anything in the pot on our porch until I had watched either the mommy or daddy fly back and forth to the pot constantly one day and decided to look.  Sure enough I saw tiny eggs lying in the little nest that they had built in the dirt underneath the plant.  It wasn't many days after that that my husband and I looked again and about four little mouths flew wide open when we pulled back the leaves of the plant. I'm sure they were close by watching attentively as we plundered their prize possession. We were very careful not to expose them.

Buzzing bees and lots of other six-legged creatures flying all around.  Spring has definitely arrived.

My birthday fell on the day before Easter this year.  It has happened a few times in the past.  If I was a mathematician I would be able to figure out how many times. I'm not. I love having a spring birthday. All my birthday parties were decorated with spring things when I was growing up.   I am so happy that my daughter was born in the spring too.  Bless her heart, what kind of parties do you think she always had? Yep!  We had dyed eggs, colored grass, woven baskets, and  flowers for decorations at every birthday party.

 My mama believed in dressing us up in our new frocks for Easter when we were growing up. I have pictures of my sister and I all decked out complete with new dress, new shoes, bonnet, and gloves.  It was Easter! The resurrection of Jesus meant new clothes for us too. Such fond family memories.

I just love spring!  Everything wakes up from the dead of winter and dresses up in its finest attire.  Every tree lies dormant before it becomes clothed in all it's beauty. Every tiny bud and seed no matter how small, lies quietly asleep beneath the earth before the warmth of the sun causes it to shoot forth for all to see. The symbolism of death and life is so beautifully portrayed in nature. It reminds us so of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Everywhere you look is a constant reminder of His great love for us.

I was washing dishes, looking out my window and thinking about how pretty everything was this spring and I had a flashback of when I was younger and just saved.  I was an adolescent, not sure how old. That night I went to the alter at the little Methodist church in Vernon. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  I remembered how beautiful everything was the next day.  I woke up that morning and looked outside and everything was a color that I had never seen before.  I had never noticed how green the grass was, how blue the sky was, everything was a brighter hue than I had ever seen. It was like Jesus had put rose colored glasses over my lenses. What he had actually done was opened my eyes and made everything new. It was truly a glorious day!

My pastor is preaching a series on how God turns our blunders into blessings. That's the beauty of who He is! That's His very character. He says to us, "Come unto me those who are heavy laden and I will give you rest."  Well I don't know about you but when I try to live this life without Him, I get burdened down. It's a heavy load that we were never meant to carry alone. So, I often just have to let my hopes, my dreams, die. I know in His perfect time He will bring forth something beautiful.

All of His creation is beautiful, but we are His most precious creation. His masterpiece.  Created to love and adore Him. Each one of us with special abilities, talents, and gifts, unique to only us.

 It's spring!  So let's just bloom where ever we are planted...and share those unique gifts with others.

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

OH, WHAT STORIES IT COULD TELL

Something about going to the beach that speaks to me. There's something so special about it that you just immediately want to talk to God and tell him all about your life.  I don't know if it's the ebb and flow of the waves, the tranquility of lying back and soaking in the sun, or the sand between your toes.  It might just be the vast beauty of it all. All I know is, it's just a wonderful place to go and unwind, refresh and rejuvenate. And to talk to God. This Spring while I was walking on the beach I thought, what if it could talk? Oh, the stories it could tell.  It could tell stories about lovers, about those that are lonely, and those that wonder if they will ever laugh again. Stories about young couples and those that have been married for 50 years. Stories about college students and families with children. Families with children that run and play in the sand, and families that have children that can't. The beach knows their stories. God's magnificent handiwork is a friend to us all. It's not prejudice, self-seeking, or envious. It welcomes everyone and is eager to hear the story that each person has to tell. I've gone throughout my life and I've talked to God at the beach many, many times.

 He and it knows my stories.

 My sister and I grew up coming with our family to the beach.  We played for a while in the water, then daddy fried fish and we ate at the park, alongside the beach. Other family members and friends came too. The highlight of the evening was going to the local amusement park. What great childhood memories!

I went as a teenager. We would go after prom and take our blankets down and sit on them. There is nothing like teenage love....We watched the song and dance of the waves, and watched as the sun sank low into the water. We kissed.  Might have had a little wine. Love was definitely in the air.

 I remember taking my son and his friends. I also took my grandsons.  I watched them as they dug huge tunnels, caves, or forts as they called them.  They would completely bury themselves in the sand except for their heads. There's nothing like watching boys at the beach. They're constantly busy. Digging, throwing, swimming, pushing. When I think about those days, it makes me smile.

Single again, but this time divorced, I remember walking on the beach, praying, wondering, will I ever have someone to spend time with again on this small piece of heaven? I remember walking to a little beach cafe with it's deck that extended onto the sand, I heard the song  from a distance and it seemed to draw me closer.  I listened to the words;  Wanna steal a piece of time? You could sing a melody to me and I could write a couple lines.  You wanna make a memory?...I sat down on the deck and I teared up. Would I every know love again?

I get to go often now, because my sister has a place close to the beach. My sister, elderly mother and I go. We want to make the most of these last years that we have with her. We watch our mom carefully as she trudges through the sand, knowing it's difficult for her, but not dare giving up. I think that she knows if she gives up, she's giving up a piece of her independence. She has walked the beach for many years since coming to Florida with my dad in 1952.

During a recent visit this spring, My husband and I came. He doesn't like the sand or the sun very much. But, he loves me. That is why he goes. He sits and reads a book. I read, listen to music and watch people.  I observed a family with a child in a wheelchair. The child was not able to sit up and was lying in the stroller/wheelchair with feeding tubes coming from her little body.  I couldn't help but stare. But, more than a stare I was in awe of the mom and dad as they so unselfishly gave of themselves to do everything within their power to help their child have fun. She couldn't run and play in the sand and water but oh, she had a first class ride in her little carriage, as her loving mom pulled in the front and her gloating dad pushed in the back. Laughing every step of the way. I sat amazed. They didn't let it hinder them at all that she couldn't run and play in the sand like all the other children. They made all the precious memories that they could. Time was on their side. What a loving story they told.

Stories of love, hope, and faith.... The stories are recorded in the majestic waves, etched in the white sand, painted in the setting sun and photographed in all its beauty. The stories are are in the singer songwriters lyrics and penned in the writers journals.  God's incredible creative handiwork... a  magnificent place for all of us to tell our stories. Thank you Father for your creation that you created for us to enjoy for a lifetime.

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean

To My Son and Daughter-In-Law (You Warm My Heart)

I remember saying to my son at birth,     

 you're a gift from God, 

 a mighty man of God you will be.

Enjoy being a child, play and learn,

for a child you will not always be.

Hope and pray and dream big dreams  

   someday the right woman will come along...

I  prayed for the wife that one day you would find

a gift from God she would be.

A wife of beauty, poise, and grace

to compliment you in every way

A wife with a heart full of love,

and a smile of warmth on her face

And you in turn would have the heart

to be the man God made you to be

Together you would fulfill your life's journey

and your destiny you would see

 For in His perfect time

       He would bring you together and

together you would always be...

It isn't an accident that you found each other

   it was ordained and it was meant to be

So protect this precious gift from God

   hold her close to your heart every day

Always know that my prayer was answered

   you both are so dear to me

You warm my heart, fill my life with joy,

   a gift for eternity.

 With love,

     Mama

    April, 2016

A LOVE STORY

How God brought my husband and I together is really a wonderful love story. He truly is God's gift to me. He is my knight in shining armor (if there is such a thing.) I love him with my whole heart!

 I waited for him for almost 11 years.  I promised the Lord, I would not go out and look for a husband. I said, "If you have someone for me, you will have to bring him to me.” That’s pretty bold, I would say.  But, I truly meant it.  I had not really done it right with my first marriage and didn’t want to do the same thing again. My husband and I laugh about it, but it’s really true. God had to prepare his heart for me and mine for him.  That is why it took 11 years...no wait I mean 40 years. Whew! We are two stubborn people!

  We grew up together in the same little town, on the same ice cold creek (just different parts of it), and I knew of his family and he knew of mine, but our paths never really crossed.  We even went to the same school. I was just a few years younger. But, we had different interest, different friends, and grew up on different sides of town.  It just wasn’t meant to be yet.  I married and had children. And he married and had children.  I divorced. He divorced. He moved all over the country working and I stayed put in northwest Florida teaching.  It still wasn’t time. 

I saw him at our church. But, didn't really pay much attention to him. Not that he wasn’t a handsome man, he was very handsome it’s just that I didn’t really look at anyone in that way, because of the vow I had made with the Lord. I had not gone out on a single date after the divorce of my ex-husband. I was asked a few times but never really interested.   Anyway, I still had a young son to raise. He was really my focus.  I also had to get my life in order, so I needed time to learn to love God with all my heart and allow Him to teach me to love myself.  The best way that I can describe it is I was married to the Lord and I didn’t desire anyone else in my life.

I still get goose bumps just thinking about it.  One fall night I came home from a Fall Festival at the school I was teaching at and went to my caller ID to receive my phone calls. There on the caller ID  was his name.  I'm trying hard to write in words what my heart, mind, and emotions experienced that night. I had seen him at church but never one time thought about him in that way but when I saw his name that night, I knew in my spirit that he was the one. I just knew. I can only imagine… Mary pregnant with Jesus, walked up to Elizabeth and she knew immediately by the Spirit that she was pregnant and Elizabeth's baby leaped inside of her. Well, I'm not trying to compare myself to Mary, Elizabeth, or Jesus. ( I know you think, well that’s a little far-fetched), but my heart leaped inside of me and I heard Holy Spirit say, "he's the one."

I started to cry for a lot of reasons. It was bitter-sweet.  I was excited that “the one and only” that God had chosen for me had appeared.  I was overwhelmed that God had really done what I asked Him to do.  I didn’t go out and look for him…he came to me. He had fulfilled His promise to me.  But, sad at the same time because I didn’t want my relationship with the Lord to change. It had been just the two of us for so long. There were a lot of different emotions flowing. I was scared to death, so I didn’t call him back.  I just let God do what He wanted to do in us.  Yes, in days to come I looked at him in a whole different way. I fell madly in love with this man that God had chosen for me.

We started dating In November, 2008 and got married in July 2009.  It’s almost been 7 years and each day together we are learning a little more about loving each other the way that God intends us to love.   God put us together. What God wants to teach me about myself I can learn through my husband. What my husband needs to learn about himself, he can see in me.  I am his help-mate and he is mine. When God joins two people together that is the awesome thing about their union. They have each other and Holy Spirit to lead, guide and direct them. That is the union that Father desires. The Trinity Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the perfect union.   The more that we allow Holy Spirit to teach, guide and direct us, will be how much we can love and help other people.  That is the desire of our union together. To love God with all our heart, love each other, and love the people that He puts in our lives.

 I wanted to tell you about our love story so that I could use it as a parallel to the greatest love story ever told, the love story between Jesus and His Bride, The Church.  I love the symbolism that He uses.  We understand it so well.  There is not a person that can’t understand the love that a bride has for her groom and the anticipation that she feels to be his wife.  We can all see the burning desire in a groom’s eye as his bride walks down the aisle to stand beside him.  She is ultimately the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth to him. There is no one else that he desires but her. There is no other time in a person’s life that they desire someone as much as when they are walking down the aisle to stand by the love of their life.

I can see why Jesus calls us His Bride.  The burning desire in His eye is for us. He is jealous for us and wants us to have no other lover but Him. He wants us to leave all others and cleave only to Him.  He loves us so much! He gave His life for us, so that we can spend eternity with Him. What an amazing love story.  I want to love Him in that way!  I want to desire His presence in my life more than I desire anything else! 

Thank you, for everything you have done in my life...

Thank you, just doesn't seem adequate ❤

sammie jean

ADMIRATION FOR MY MOTHER AND SISTER

I didn’t eat black- eyed peas and hog jowl for New Years Day, probably for the first time in 58 years.  I grew up with my mama cooking it every New Years Day and my daddy sayn’, “You better eat a spoon full at least or you want have good luck this year.” Maybe this is a sign that things are going to be different…don’t know! But one thing I do know, my luck doesn’t depend on black eyed peas.

In the last month I have been reminded several times to hold close this special time that I have with my mother and sister. A lady from Nashville told my sister and I how precious this time was that we have with our mother while lying on the beach in November.  Recently at a funeral as I passed by my dear friend to give her my condolences she whispered in my ear, “Love that Brenda.” She knew what it felt like to lose her only sibling, her precious sister.  So, I am not going to waste this special time that God has given us to be together. This blog is dedicated to my loving mother, and sweet sister.

 My mother and daddy were married over 50 years, moving to Vernon, Florida after only being married several years.  Daddy was a coach, PE teacher, high school principal, and eventually elected to the State House of Representative from our district. My mother always said about my daddy, “You either loved him or hated him, there was no in between.” I loved that about my daddy. On the other hand, my mother was loved by everyone in Vernon. Not only that, everyone always talked about how beautiful she was. All her athlete’s adored her and her PE students as well. Mother was the girl’s PE teacher and coach for her entire career at Vernon High School. (Thirty something years, (I think). Even today, everywhere I go they ask me about my mother. When they see her they still compliment her on how well she looks. My mother is 84. Not only is she beautiful, but she is highly thought of, loved, and respected. One of the greatest admiration I have for my mother is how she stood by my daddy. As the song goes, she was definitely the wind beneath his wings. It was so beautifully written in my nieces’ blog. I would like to share.

Friday, February 28, 2014

Written by Herrika Thornton

^Heritage

^{I watched her as she got dressed.  She held deep sorrow in her eyes, yet I saw strength, courage and beauty.  There I stood, a girl just getting started good as a wife; not yet a mother, watching this lady who had lived a life time of joy and sorrow.  This day, like so many others, she was a wife dressing to please the man that she had spent a lifetime with, a life that held many sweet stories.}  

^{“Do you think he would think I look pretty today?” she asked me.}

^{I stumbled for words as the tears stuck in my throat.  “Yes ma’am, I know he would,” was my reply because to me she was beautiful dressed in red.  You see red was his favorite color.} 

^{“Well today I’ll stand by him one last time,” was her soft declaration.}

^{Standing by him was all she knew how to do.  She had done so with joy, pride and love for so many years.  Standing by him, honoring him was like breathing to her.}

^{My Nana stood by my Papa’s casket that night for hours as person after person filed by her, expressing their sympathy.  She chatted with each person, hugging and sharing tears with many, but all the while she stood. With elegance and grace she stood beside her husband one more time.} 

My sister is four years older than I.  We weren’t that close in school.  But, I wanted to be everything that my sister was; popular with the boys, well-liked in school, pretty, smart, a great cheerleader, and passionate about her love for Jesus. She made it a little difficult for me because I knew I could never measure up. After a few years in college, Brenda married Ricky and they have been married 40+ years. She taught school upon retiring for 35 years or more. My sister taught elementary school for years and years, moved to middle school, and because she felt a call from the Lord to move out of her “comfort zone”, she moved to high school and served as a Reading Coach to support reading in all other subject areas. I can only imagine how difficult that was! That took a lot of inner strength to do that. I’m so proud of my sister!

And all this time, she has labored in love tirelessly with her husband, as she and he have served as pastors for at least 20+ years. I’ve watched her close up, love and support him during times that it would be easy to walk away and say, “You’re on your own this time.” For we all know that the Lord gives words to the pastor and sometimes they are difficult words, words not easily swallowed at first.   But, never did she do that. She has prayed for, stood steadfast and loyal to her husband. She has been there to lift his head and not tear him down. I admire her so much for that!
  

What an honor to have two women in my life that have been such excellent role models for me, and our children.  Both have loved and honored their husbands and have put God first in their lives. Recently trying to think of a verse that would honor my sister’s birthday I thought of Ruth 13:1. It is so fitting for them both:  Where you go I’ll go and where you stay, I’ll stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.  My mother and sister have lived by these words. They have stood in the middle of wagging tongues, unpopular beliefs, and had their share of valley experiences and have not wavered. They stood by their husband’s and in doing so honored their God.

I don’t have any idea what 2016 will bring. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions either. But, if I was to make one I think it would be along the lines of, I want to love a little harder and love a little longer… my husband, our children, grandchildren, all my family and friends…my mother and sister (thank you, you make me want to be a better person)

 I believe this will bring glory to my Loving Heavenly Father and make him proud of his daughter.

Living Loved,

Sammie Jean