HAS OUR PRIDE BEEN WORTH IT?

 I live in the bible belt, USA.  Good Godly people live in this part of the country.  Busy people doing God's work. I was raised here and have lived here for my whole life. Fifty eight years to be exact. I was raised in church. So, please hear me. I'm not blaming anyone. I love the people in my community and this part of the country. This is just my journey, my questions, and observations.

 I have believed in God all my life and believe that Jesus saved me as an adolescent.  I just always felt like there was more. Something was missing in my own life. This started a quest for me, I said, "God if you're real (and I know you are) then show me,"  I wanted a life that bore the fruit of  Jesus.

The first thing that Holy Spirit started showing me was just how much God loved me. I knew the scripture, "For God so loved the world..." and that Jesus came to save my soul so that I could spend eternity with Him. But, I never fathomed the height and depth of His love for me.  How He actually created me to spend time with Him. That He desired to spend time with me and wanted me to fellowship with Him on a daily basis. ...never did it really register that He had a plan for my life and the most important part of that plan was for me to have a relationship with Him. There it was the treasure that He wanted to show me...He wanted an earthly relationship with me. Not just for eternity, but for here on this earth!

The scripture says in Matthew 7,  9 So I say to you: Keep asking, and it will be given you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you, 10 because everyone who keeps asking will receive, and the person who keeps searching will find, and the person who keeps knocking will have the door opened.

 As I searched He revealed this precious nugget that changed my life forever...religion alone produces a life of duty and obligation, dos and don'ts,  Hard work that just never brings fulfillment. You're tired, worn out, and never feel like you can measure up or deserve God's love. You read about it, but it doesn't seem real. A life lived in relationship with a Loving Father produces His Spirit, joy, love, peace, contentment. You are able to have relationship with Him and others around you that is productive and fulfilling. Religion is a cup half full. I want a full cup. His fullness...is a cup running over. No wonder Jesus didn't get along with the Scribes and Pharisees! They just couldn't understand what he was trying to show them. He walked in relationship every day of His life. Relationship with His Father and in relationship with those that he came in contact with.

 If I could redo anything in my life, I would like to have had a closer relationship with Jesus so that  I could have raised my children with more of a focus on relationship with Him and caring more for others. Our own hopes and dreams are important but should never be more important than the needs of hurting people around us. I raised my children in church but  I didn't raise them to be sensitive to how much God wanted a relationship with them and how important it was to care about the needs of others. I wanted my children to have nice clothes, be polite, excel in sports, good in school...the list goes on and there is nothing wrong with that.  I wanted them to go to church, have good manners, and treat others with respect.  My focus was all external. I cared way too much about how things looked.  God looks inwardly at our heart. It didn't really dawn on me that I was raising them to want more things when I should have been raising them to love Jesus with all their hearts. I love my children and grandchildren. They are great kids.  Only saying...if I could do it again.

A relationship with Father God. What does that mean? Does it mean for me to love Him above everything and everyone in my life and to care about the needs of those around me as much as I do my own needs? I think it does.  If I do that would I really worry about what kind of house I live in?  Or car I drive? Would I care what color you are? or how much  money you make?   My son and I were having a conversation the other day about how he heard that a pastor stepped on a few toes when he expressed a concern about this same topic in his sermon.  My son said that he said to the congregation something along the line of that we might not need that expensive boat or that so on and so on. His implications were that our money might need to be put on something more in tune with the Kingdom of God. God says that one tenth of what we earn should go to Him. That is what we owe to be good stewards of this earth. So I'm not talking about that. But, I'm talking more about the condition of our heart. Having a heart to give and not receive all the time. Giving my own money, time, and talents to serve others.

I am so concerned about America. I care deeply for this country. It is where My father God saw fit for me to live and raise my family. I appreciate all the great men and women that came before me to make this a great nation.  I am grateful for the ones that fought to protect me, my family, and this land that we call home.  Have we forgotten who gave it to us? Have we left Him out of our families and schools? Is He any longer a part of our lives?  This is the land of prosperity.  Have we taken this prosperity for granted?  I don't believe that he gave us prosperity to see how "fat and happy" we can become. We have become overindulgent in every area of our lives.  I think we have become wasteful, greedy, uncaring, unloving, and many times have cared only about our four and no more! We have forgotten what God has done for us. He is no longer in the forefront of our homes, schools, businesses, government, or our hearts.

 Do we really think that our purpose on this earth is self-edification, self-indulgence, and self-satisfaction.  Self, self, self.  I believe that there are many things that my country and I need to repent of. We are guilty of murdering our babies and becoming full of pride and arrogance. Our forefathers knew that our country could only stand by the Grace of God and they built this nation on the sound fundamental of "In God We Trust!"

Haggai 1 seems very fitting for us today.

³ Then the word of the Lord came through the prophet Haggai: ⁴ “Is it a time for you yourselves to be living in your paneled houses, while this house remains a ruin?”

⁵ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

⁷ This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord. ⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house which remains a ruin while each of you is busy with your own house. ¹⁰ Therefore, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. ¹¹ I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.”

Is ISIS our real problem?  I don't think so.  I think our nation needs to humbly repent of all its wrongdoings, of its pride and arrogance, and ask Him to not turn His face from us. We need His protection but more importantly, we need Him. We need to return to our first love of Him and seek that relationship that He so desires with us.  I humbly pray for that.

Father, I ask for forgiveness in my own life.  Please forgive me for my pride...to think that I could ever be a good daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, friend, citizen, leader, without submitting to you. Thank you for your loving grace and mercy in my life. I love you!